tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6486206905183157722024-03-13T20:10:54.675-07:00Andy & ElishaElishahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05818194091574470888noreply@blogger.comBlogger366125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-648620690518315772.post-56147694592943983552019-07-11T13:22:00.000-07:002019-10-03T07:05:51.777-07:00AshaWe met on an unremarkable night. Bible study had finished at Panera and we were driving back to hang out and talk at one of our houses. It was just another day. Rain was pouring down in fistfuls with the warmth of a mid-west spring as I drove the back roads. As I turned a corner and rumbled over some train tracks in a seedy area of town, I noticed a woman bundled against the rain pushing a baby stroller. My heart stopped a beat, and I kept driving. <i>Was she homeless? What is in the baby stroller? Her stuff? It couldn't be a child, could it?</i><br />
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My heart raced as I felt the old familiar tug of compassion and heard the Lord's voice, clear and gentle, in my mind, <i>Go back. </i></div>
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I turned my car around and wrestled through my thoughts. <i>What if she wasn't there anymore? What if I scared her by stalking her with my car? Where could I even pull over?</i></div>
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I saw her on the left side of the road and looped around again. The poor woman had just seen my car pass her three times. I prayed she wouldn't be afraid as I parked my car directly in front of her line of sight. As I stepped out into the pouring rain, I walked towards her trying to communicate gentleness in my body language. </div>
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"Do you need a ride?" I yelled towards her direction, as she was still some distance from the parking lot. She hurried faster towards me and that's when I saw the beautiful baby in the stroller. Warm dark skin, curls that could twine around your little finger, dimples like sunshine, and the most beautiful deep brown eyes peeked out from under the stroller. </div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-KdHcXpgGgBs/XSeWKiRMx1I/AAAAAAAAVcA/uwU0uT2bX6UXCkI7Gc_Ht8bPumtLVwLCgCLcBGAs/s1600/IMG_6356.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1280" data-original-width="960" height="320" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-KdHcXpgGgBs/XSeWKiRMx1I/AAAAAAAAVcA/uwU0uT2bX6UXCkI7Gc_Ht8bPumtLVwLCgCLcBGAs/s320/IMG_6356.JPG" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My sweet Asha</td></tr>
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As they came closer, I realized the woman wasn't young enough to be this child's mother. </div>
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"Do you need a ride?" I asked again, softer now that they were closer. "I saw you walking in the rain and thought I would offer."</div>
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"I'm not sure you'll want to, when you know where I'm headed," she replied. </div>
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"Where are you going?" I asked, trying to remove any judgment from my voice. This wasn't my first friendship with an addict, and my heart knew the answer before she responded.</div>
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"The liquor store, down the road," was her response followed by some embarrassed explanations. </div>
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"Hop in. I'll give you both a ride."</div>
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"You got a car seat?" </div>
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We began to talk about my kids and about Todiasha, her granddaughter, the beautiful chubby baby in the stroller. I scooped the sweet girl into my arms and buckled her into my youngest son's carseat. My heart immediately skipped a beat as I fell in love with her big eyes and fluffy curls, and the smallest trace of a smile that skipped across her lips. </div>
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We drove to the liquor store and the woman left this precious baby in the car with me as she went to buy booze. I played peekaboo and cooed at the bundle in my back seat, wondering how she could leave her granddaughter with a total stranger. I recognize that I don't intimidate anyone, so I can see why she may have felt comfortable leaving her with me, but my heart ached at the lack of care it showed in her parenting. </div>
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Our conversation continued when she got back and she shared that her daughter was homeless, living on the streets, and she was raising her grand baby. This woman had no money, no food, and little to live on, and Todiasha was sick and needed medicine. Medicaid would pay for her medicine, but she didn't have a way to get to the pharmacy to pick it up. </div>
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I asked how old Todiasha was and she said, "18 months." At this point, my concern turned to fear that this child was neglected. She looked no older than 8 months old. <i>Was this child severely neglected? Was she not being given solid food to eat? She had a bottle of milk that she was drinking from - were they mixing her milk with alcohol to get her to sleep? </i>Concerns played through my mind and as I dropped them off at their home, I wondered if I should called CPS. I walked them inside and their home was tidy and another elderly woman was living there (who I found out later was Todiasha's great grandmother). </div>
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I offered to drive them to the pharmacy in the morning when the store was open, so we exchanged phone numbers and said goodnight.<br />
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The entire drive back, I kept wrestling with whether I should call DCS. Was it considered neglect to walk to the store in the middle of the night in the rain with a baby? What other options do moms have that don't have cars? Was the child really 18months? Could she be neglected? </div>
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I drove up to my friend's house, now extremely late for the rest of our girls' night, and shared my crazy story. What should I do? </div>
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After we talked it through together, we all decided that since I was going to see them in the morning, I could re-evaluate at that point. Calling DCS is a pretty big accusation for simply walking in the rain at night. </div>
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I went home and prayed and prayed for that little girl and her grandma. Little did I know, that night would be the beginning of our <a href="https://andyandelisha.blogspot.com/2013/09/a-journey-towards-adoption.html">journey towards adoption</a>. </div>
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The next morning, I picked up Todiasha and her grandma (we'll call her <i>Debi </i>to protect her privacy) and took them to a CVS pharmacy. On the drive, I asked again how old Todiasha was; "8 months" was her sober response. My heart released a heavy sigh as she looked like a perfectly healthy 8-month old. Perhaps I had overreacted last night in my worry and concern. Todiasha had strep throat and a bad diaper rash, so she was picking up a prescription to treat those, but outside of that, she seemed healthy and content.<br />
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"Will you buy my mom a lottery ticket?" she asked me on the drive. "She really wants me to get one for her."</div>
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Personally, I loathe lottery tickets. I think they are called "the poor man's tax" for a reason, but I try to say 'yes' as often as possible when it comes to loving on people and blessing them when I'm able. I went to buy her a lottery ticket while we were at the store and she responded, "Oh not that one. She wants a specific one."</div>
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"Okay, which one does she want?" </div>
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"Well, it's not at this store. It's at a store across the street." </div>
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At this point, I knew I was being taken and she was trying to scam me out of something more than a lottery ticket.</div>
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"What store?" I asked.</div>
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She hemmed and hawed around her answer until admitting it was the liquor store. </div>
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"I'm not buying you alcohol."</div>
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"No, no, no, sweetie. It's not for alcohol. She just has a specific lottery ticket she wants from that store. It's only $2.50."</div>
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"I don't have any cash on me. Sorry." </div>
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"Well, can't you get some here?" </div>
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Her persistence paid off and I did grab cash, against my better judgment, and we drove over to the liquor store. I kept kicking myself as I let her lie to me. I gave her the cash and she disappeared into the store to get the lottery ticket. She made a show of having just gotten the lottery ticket and gave me $2 change, but I'm confident she bought a small bottle of liquor to tide her over for a bit and stashed it in her bag.</div>
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Normally, I know better than to get manipulated into situations like these, but somehow I did. On the way home, I shared my concerns with her and she tried to soothe my conscience by repeating that she only got the lottery ticket. I was very honest with her and said that I would be happy to help with any physical needs, but I would not be driving her to a liquor store or giving her cash again. </div>
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She mostly accepted that statement over the course of the next year, although at times tried to convince me to buy her liquor. However, we developed something of a friendship over this time period. I would pick her and Todiasha up for appointments and help them pick up food from the foodbank. Occasionally, I'd buy them groceries or pick up a pizza and soda for dinner after an outing. Todiasha began to spend time with my kids and I'd babysit her from time to time. </div>
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Debi nearly got a job at one point and I offered to watch Todiasha full-time, if she needed. Her new job would start at 4am, so we talked about having Todiasha sleep at our house so she could be to work on time. Throughout this year, it became apparent that Debi was an alcoholic, but she also loved Todiasha and made sure she was clean, fed and, hopefully, cared for. I wasn't sure how bad her alcoholism was, but she was mostly sober during our outings, so I refrained from involving any government agencies, unless I had something solid to base my concerns on. </div>
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One night, she called drunk, crying and sobbing and asked me if I could pick Todiasha up and bring her alcohol. Tonight was the night her son had committed suicide years ago. I said no to the alcohol - something she hadn't asked me for in a long time - my heart breaking for her as I rushed over to pick up Todiasha. </div>
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We sat on the kitchen floor together as I held her crying body, shaking with sobs. Todiasha's mom was there and angry that I was there to take away her baby. She came at me aggressively and I reached out to hug her. </div>
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"I'm just here to give you a bit of a break. Being a mom is hard. I can stay here with Todiasha and you can just have a bit of a break." </div>
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She crumpled into my arms as I held her sobbing body. "Take care of my baby," she said over and over. "Promise me, you'll take care of her." She continued sobbing and I prayed my heart out over those two women.</div>
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Todiasha toddled up and jumped in our laps, snuggling close and giggling, as I prayed for life and freedom and God's love to fill up these two women. We huddled on the kitchen floor, a tangle of arms and hugs and tears and prayers.</div>
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When we were done praying, I gathered Todiasha into my arms and carried her out to the car. Debi walked us out and asked if she could stay for the night. I said, "of course," and hugged her tightly and reminded her of how much God loves her. </div>
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Todiasha stayed several nights after that. Debi was still drunk the next morning and the morning after that. About five days later, I brought our sweet girl back to her grandma. Debi was sober and I kissed Todiasha goodbye with a heavy heart. This little one felt like my daughter already. And it hurt to give her back. </div>
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The next evening I got a call from Debi crying that the police were going to take Todiasha away. </div>
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"Hurry, please come. Tell them you're her aunt. Don't let them take my baby away." She repeated over and over. I rushed out of the meeting I was hosting, apologizing to my guests, raced over to where they were and went up to the officers at the scene. Much like our original meeting, a warm rain was pouring down in torrential sheets in the same parking lot we had met in a year ago. </div>
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Debi was with Todiasha's mom, Angela (her name is also changed to protect her privacy), who had been arrested. They had been walking home from the liquor store and Angela passed out on the side of the road. The police had pulled over and found out that she had a warrant out for her arrest. Angela's Breathalyzer test showed a blood alcohol content that was over 2.6, and the officer suspected that it was closer to 4-something, in actuality. He said he had never seen a blood-alcohol test come back this high.</div>
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They took my name and told me that Debi and Todiasha could leave with me. I hugged Debi close as she sobbed into my arms and said, "This is just like the night I met you. It was raining then too. And we were even in this same parking lot. You are the only one I know who would keep my baby safe. Ohhh, they were going to take away my baby. I've lost all my other babies. I can't lose my baby." I drove Debi home crying and dropped her off at home. She was obviously drunk, so I said I would take Todiasha for the night. </div>
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The next morning Debi was still drunk, so we kept Todiasha for another day. And another day. And more days after that.</div>
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Andy and I began to talk about the future. Was it possible for us to raise Todiasha? Debi had just told me that she was dying of cancer (something I later found out was not necessarily true). What happened if she was too sick to care for Todiasha? Todiasha's father was in jail and her mother was MIA. We already loved her and have known her since she was a baby. Maybe we could co-parent with Debi. </div>
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Thoughts filled our heads, but we just had to take one day at a time. I had a busy week coming up, so I messaged Debi to arrange to bring Todiasha back on Sunday after church. </div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-xmv4vC52Pww/XSeWRpNHHKI/AAAAAAAAVcE/tc72MzcsEU0RrE7qODpRWMo7iQMP6mLqACLcBGAs/s1600/IMG_6481.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="240" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-xmv4vC52Pww/XSeWRpNHHKI/AAAAAAAAVcE/tc72MzcsEU0RrE7qODpRWMo7iQMP6mLqACLcBGAs/s320/IMG_6481.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Asha after she came to live with us</td></tr>
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I swung Todiasha by the house and carried her inside. She began to cling to me and cry, screaming uncontrollable and trying to claw her way up my body. She pulled away from Debi as far as she could get and my heart broke inside. Maybe I shouldn't have offered to bring her back to Debi's house. Maybe I should have just let her stay with us as long as Debi would have allowed her to stay. I tried to calm her down and she settled in my arms a bit. When I set her down, she started to whimper a little. I gave her a hug and said goodbye and she started crying uncontrollable, breaking my heart a little more with each tear. </div>
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"It looks like you spoiled her," Debi said, trying to make sense of why she was having hard time transitioning.</div>
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<i>By loving her and caring for her, </i>I thought silently in my mind. "I think she may be tired. This is when we've been putting her down for naps recently," is the reply that came out of my mouth. </div>
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I left their house to the sound of her tears, feeling my heart rend into pieces. How could I love this little girl so much already? What was God doing here? How could I leave her? Was there a way for us to raise her and be her family? How would that even happen? What horrors would she have to experience before that was even possible?</div>
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Tears rolled down my cheeks as I pulled away, leaving a piece of my heart in that small little person.</div>
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I drove home and called my mom, pouring out my heart. Did I make the wrong decision? Should I call Debi back and offer to keep her longer? Why, oh why, did I even offer to bring her back in the first place?</div>
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My mind swirled with doubts and wondering what to do. I hung up the phone and curled up on my couch to pray. I poured out my heart to God -what should I do? </div>
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<i>Wait until tomorrow. </i>His still small voice calmed my worry and anxiousness. I would call Debi tomorrow and offer to watch Todiasha again. God could be in control of how long we would keep her. </div>
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As it turned out, I never had to call. The next morning I got a phone call at 7am. Debi was crying into the phone again. "CPS is here. They are going to take her away. You have to come get my baby. Please come get her. They're going to take her away." </div>
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I tried to get the details of what had happened, but her words weren't clear and things weren't making sense. All I could tell was that Todiasha was in the hospital and CPS was removing her from Debi's custody. I texted the caseworker, whom I had met after the incident with the police in the rain, and tried to get more details. She said she would meet me at the hospital and we could finish our conversation there. I got my kids to VBS that morning and rushed over to the hospital. Debi had already been removed from the room and the police had escorted her home.</div>
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I won't go into all the details here, but CPS deemed it prudent to remove Todiasha from the home at that time. My heart was so relieved that Todiasha was okay; truly it was the best possible situation for a child to be removed from a home. She was placed in our care as an emergency kin placement after a preliminary background check. </div>
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My heart soared that our girl was home, with us. It felt like the Lord had orchestrated all these pieces together just for this purpose and this moment. It was as if He had allowed all these things to happen to bring her into our home and our family for good. Could this be forever? Could she become our daughter? </div>
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We snuggled her up and brought her home from the hospital and took care of her as her health slowly improved. Each day falling more in love with her laugh, her smile, her independent-spirit, her bouncy walk. It felt like she was the missing puzzle piece of our family. </div>
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We brought her to church one Sunday before all the craziness began. At the time I didn't know her last name, so when we signed her in, we used our last name and the nickname that we've been calling her since she arrived in our home - "Asha Catts."</div>
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A woman who is a missionary in Nepal was visiting our church and saw her name tag while we were talking. "Did you know that Asha means Hope in Nepalese?" The moment the words came out of her mouth, I heard God's voice make a promise over Asha's life, straight from scripture:</div>
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"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11<br />
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This verse shot into my mind like a declaration of her future. A proclamation of what God was planning to do in her life. He has plans for her. He is going to prosper her and not harm her. He is going to give her a hope and a future.<br />
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At that moment, she become Hope to me. The promise of what God will do. "Faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen." Hebrews 11:1 </div>
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When God put adoption in my heart over a decade ago, I never imagined how the story would unfold. There is a fear in my heart that she will be ripped from my arms. I love her like a daughter already, but legally, I'm a placeholder. There are so many unknowns in our future with this precious girl, but I'm confident in God's goodness towards her and us in this process. </div>
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Like the <a href="https://andyandelisha.blogspot.com/2013/09/a-journey-towards-adoption.html">post</a> I wrote a year and a half ago (only a couple months after Asha was born), adoption thrums in my heart still. My heart longs to be her mommy and have her be my daughter. This tentative place is painful for everyone involved, but it is a privilege and a joy also. Each day, I grow more in love with her. Each day, I wonder what God is going to do in all this. </div>
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I wrestle with the knowledge that someone could take her from me - her father when he is released from jail, Debi if she meets all the court's requirements, her mom if she turns her life around. At any moment, the place she holds in my life, and I in hers, could be taken away. </div>
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I've determined to love her with all my might for as long as she is with us. Whether God lets her become a daughter in truth or whether he redeems her family legacy, she will always be a daughter in my heart. I don't have any promises about whether I will get to raise her, but I do know that God is going to pursue that little heart for the rest of her days. I do know that I will pray for her day and night for the rest of my life. I do know that she is loved, and always will be, by me and a God that is more powerful than any other force in the world.</div>
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I believe, with all my might, that He is giving her a hope and a future.</div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Isabel & Asha</td></tr>
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-Elisha</div>
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<i>It's been a while since I've shared what's been going on in our lives. It's been a hard year for me, but God has been bringing me out of the desert and my heart feels ready to process some of the things He's been teaching me over the last couple years on this blog. </i></div>
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<b><i>{Join me on the journey? </i><i style="background-color: white; color: #413423; font-family: georgia, serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: center;">You can</i><span style="background-color: white; color: #413423; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: center;"> </span><i style="background-color: white; color: #413423; font-family: georgia, serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: center;"><a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/AndyElisha" style="color: #999999;" target="_blank">subscribe</a> to receive posts}</i></b></div>
Elishahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05818194091574470888noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-648620690518315772.post-71488271943920923712019-03-29T14:01:00.001-07:002019-03-29T14:09:17.890-07:00WonderWonder.<br />
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His grubby little fingers pulled piece after piece of bark from the tree; his little body focused and intent, nestled in the leaves amidst towering trees. Sunlight glowed warm on his soft hair, and he disappeared into his own private world, imagining, creating, exploring.<br />
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My middle child held my hand and balanced on fallen trees and searched under leaves for hidden treasures of acorns and bugs.<br />
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My oldest climbed logs and made forts, invented machines out of trees and sticks in her mind.<br />
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These woods held private worlds for each of my children to disappear into. They wove in and out of each others' imagined worlds and invited us in to play too. Together we wandered and dreamed and drank in the sunshine and the smiles and wonder.<br />
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Sometimes I wonder if adults can find wonder in the busyness and the weight of responsibilities. There are so many heavy things that lie on our hearts, and yet somewhere deep inside even grownups are desires and dreams and passions and imagination and wonder. Too often, those things are laid aside in favor of what needs to be done and what should be done. The sleepless nights caring for a baby and the dreary days doing mundane work in a job that sucks the wonder right out of life can often leave us grown people feeling wonder-less.<br />
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But recently, a tug in my heart keeps pulling on my imagination and asking, is wonder possible here in the midst of the sacred mundane? Can I find wonder while doing the dishes? Or can my imagination delight in possibilities unseen while still finding contentment in the duties of the here and now?<br />
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My heart has been wrestling with the question, "Can I live each day full of joy and wonder?"<br />
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And an echo in my soul says yes. Yes, I can wake to piles of laundry and children demanding food and needing diapers changed and beds cleaned and floors swept, and school to be taught. Children who need love and attention and nurturing and practical care and so much more, and the constant worry of "Am I doing this right?" And yes, somehow in there somewhere, I can find wonder and joy.<br />
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I'm tumbling along this journey, sometimes stumbling into wonder by chance and other days searching for it and finding it illusive. Perhaps wonder isn't something you can create; perhaps it must always be something you stumble upon. And yet, my little wonder experts show me that there is something we can do - no, we must do - if we are to wander into the garden of wonder.<br />
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As I watch them, I marvel at the ease with which they slip into imaginary worlds, and I follow them down that path to wondering. As I balance on the log behind my sweet Melody, I wonder to myself, "What will happen if I do a cartwheel? Can I do it?" I raise my arms in front of me and angle my body and throw myself into a wild turn and land, laughing on the ground next to the log, in unexpected laughter and dishevelment. Wonder, it returns slowly, like an once loved teddy bear feels in your arms after many neglected years. Can I live this way? How do I find this again?<br />
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I inhale the crisp air in my lungs and let the sun soak into my skin, turning towards the beauty and the light and taking time to savor the moment. I watch them play and learn from them, as they lead me back down paths in my heart I'd allowed to become overgrown.<br />
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My children have been leading me in this journey of wonder and I find the door to enter in is simply choosing to say yes. Saying "yes" to the people and the moment in front of me, rather than pushing it aside in my mind and choices in favor of that which is to come.<br />
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This new year has brought changes to my life, resolutions if you could call them that, and one is to say yes to my children as often as a I can; to say yes to the moments that will slip out of my fingers like running water if I don't just immerse myself in them and let the flow carry me off on wild adventures.<br />
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I don't mean this in a way that I won't tell them "no" to the things that are unhealthy for them or the boundaries they need to flourish, but I mean saying yes to <b><i>them</i>. </b>When they run circles through the kitchen while I'm doing dishes, I want to join them instead of shooing them away so I can finish the job in front of me. When they jump on my laundry piles, I want to tickle them and laugh with them and bury them in piles of clean clothes and play peek-a-boo, rather than sending them off to play elsewhere. When they ask me to play dollies, I want to say "yes," even if it means setting down an important task at hand.<br />
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Wonder isn't such an illusive place, but perhaps it is difficult to find because it is a garden we can only see when our eyes aren't constantly looking elsewhere. Mankind's first step away from God was the moment when they believed that the moment in front of them was not enough and that there was something more they could attain for themselves.<br />
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Perhaps, if they had kept their eyes fixed on the wonder and the beauty all around them, they would have been too busy to fall into the trap of believing there was more they needed to pursue and get for themselves.<br />
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My children are not constantly thinking about the things that need to be achieved or accomplished - they are delightfully just living in the moment in front of them, embracing the people right in front of them.<br />
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CS Lewis wrote, "It is easier to be enthusiastic about humanity with a capital "H" than it is to love individual men and women..."<br />
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Perhaps that is the heart of missing out on wonder. As we constantly look towards doing big things and accomplishing great feats or even just keeping life afloat, we miss out on the wonder of just loving the person in front of us now. We miss out on living the life we have now.<br />
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We may be passionate about loving People, but it means very little if we don't actually embrace and throw ourselves fully into the act of loving the faces right in front of us. And while life certainly comes with pain and challenges, I believe we can look around and find wonder even in the midst of those things because we believe in a God who makes all things new and who gives us His vision of hope in a world that is full of pain and suffering.<br />
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As Christians, we have a secret weapon of hope through which we can see the pain in the world. We can look around us at the hardships and know that God will make all things new. We have the hope that death is just the beginning of something beautiful. We have the hope that people can be rescued out of addiction and depression and hopelessness by a God who loves them more than they could ever imagine. We have the hope that all the painful things we've experienced or will experience can be so beautifully redeemed by a loving Father that we need fear nothing and regret nothing. We have the promise that there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, so we need not live in shame or fear or insecurity, but we may walk confidently in relationship with God and people.<br />
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These lenses give us the ability to look around us and see the world through eyes of wonder, marveling at what God has done and will do.<br />
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I don't want to miss the wonder of seeing my children's grubby hands in mine and laughing with them about the slippery wooden bridge we are crossing. I don't want to miss digging for worms in the mud right next to their little bodies. I don't want to miss snuggling in close to my husband as we watch our children play and hearing his heart beat beneath my ear. I don't want to miss these things because I'm too focused on the things that need doing or the worries and plans for the future.<br />
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That day as I scampered the forest trails with my precious people, I realized wonder had been there all along; I simply didn't have the eyes to see it. I'm learning, slowly, that wonder comes when we are willing to shift where we are looking. So I'm determined to begin looking around, instead of just forward, and seeing what is right in front of my eyes and loving there. I'm praying for eyes to see not just responsibilities, but people, and a willingness to set aside that which must be done for the future in favor of that which already is.<br />
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Wonder is found by looking around and not just simply moving forward. It is seeing the beauty that already is and marveling in each detail, entering fully into each precious second of life we've been given.<br />
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May we all find wonder again and rediscover the beauty of seeing clearly the gifts that are right in front of our eyes.<br />
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<br />Elishahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05818194091574470888noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-648620690518315772.post-70628367029195206242018-01-15T05:00:00.000-08:002018-01-15T07:53:07.114-08:00A Journey Towards Adoption<br />
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The feelings are settled so deep that my mind has yet to form them into words. Even now, a gentle ache pulses where my heart is and I find that my mind is grasping for words, for Truth.</div>
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Sorrow. Sacrifice. Surrender. S-words slip through my subconscious praying to take form and become something substantial.</div>
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What would I be signing up for? What if I regret it?</div>
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A girl beaten on the head at four months old, a boy given meth at three months to stop the crying, a 7 year old sneaking away from school during lunch to give her baby sister her a bottle during the day, a child who was never bathed. O God. O God. O GOD.</div>
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Tears are forming too deep in my heart to rise in my eyes.</div>
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What are You asking of me?</div>
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I think about their stories now, a 7, 8, & 9 year old, adopted into a loving and yet, overwhelmed family. These three children have disabilities, they all are struggling with their identity and finding coping mechanisms, all dealing with the abuses that happened before they were even a year old. I think about their adoptive mother - exhausted, overworked, tired, and sometimes wondering if this is really what she wanted for her life. But she loves them, so she keeps going.</div>
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Is this really what I want for my life?</div>
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But, O God... what if I don't? Who will? Who will give their life to five abandoned siblings lost in the foster system? Who will adopt the baby with down syndrome? Who will care if I don't?</div>
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I ask God - <i>Why? Why aren't you doing something? </i>And then He speaks and it makes my heart tremble and ache. "You are the body of Christ. You are the one I've called to do something. You are my hands and feet. Let me use You." And if I am part of the body of Christ, how can I not take them into my home and my heart?</div>
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But what if I regret it? What if I don't have enough love to give? What if it harms my children?</div>
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And then I think of Jesus and what He did. And a God who gave His own Son.</div>
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How can I not? And that's when the tears spring to my eyes. I realize what this means to me now - it means surrender, and sacrifice, and sorrow after sorrow. But if my Lord was acquainted with sorrows, why do I hold myself apart as if I should be protected from them? If my Father gave His own Son to adopt me, then why do I withhold my arms from others in need? And if my King humbled himself and gave His resources to ransom me, than how can I not give away my own? </div>
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So how can I not?</div>
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But God, I'm not sure I'm ready for this. I'm not sure I understand what I'm giving up. I'm not sure I'll do it well. I'm not sure I can handle the needs of children who have been unloved for so long. I'm not sure I would know how to respond to them rejecting my love and concern for them...or Yours.</div>
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His name as a prayer on my lips. I can think of nothing except His name. O God. Jesus. Yahweh. Emmanuel. His name gives me strength. His name draws me close. His name is enough. O God. O God. O God.</div>
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How can I not?</div>
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I wrote this earlier in September 2013, though never posted it. Since then, I've watched friends adopt and known friends who have been adopted. I heard stories about an imperfect foster and adoption system, and read countless abuses of international adoptions. I've had friends who were adopted and have shared challenges they've endured. I've known some who have adopted and wished they hadn't. Others who have never been adopted and wished they had. I've known women who have had their children ripped from their arms and placed into the foster system. I've known children who have been ripped from their parents, and long to be home with them, no matter how broken a world they came from.<br />
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And very recently, I've met a woman who adopted a beautiful son who was terminally ill. And watched her baby pass from this world into the next. As she told me her story, I cried streams of tears and asked myself, would I be willing to suffer like that for another person?<br />
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I've learned and read and watched and studied and listened. And each day, my own life began to feel harder and more challenging. The idea of adding more chaos, and stress, and challenges felt overwhelming. And on top of that, God pulled us away from all our family and moved us to a place where we have absolutely no familial support.<br />
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Before we moved to Indiana, one evening Andy and I were wondering aloud about God's reasoning in moving us to the City of Churches. Why there? I would prefer Africa personally, and there certainly seemed to be a plethora of ministries and churches doing local outreach. Why would God be sending us there, of all places? As our minds wondered together, I remember saying, "Who knows? Maybe there is a child there that God wants us to adopt."<br />
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Since being here, adoption has thrummed in my heart like a growing crescendo. The weight of it feels tangible and the necessity of it feels impending. Even when we bought a house recently, the main thing I heard from the Lord about what we were to look for was big, so He could fill it. Okay, that wasn't in my plans, but sure, a big house sounds great.<br />
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And now being settled in this new place, I feel an ache in my soul longing for that child or children who are missing from our family. I've begun to talk about them like I know they are coming, asking our current children whether they would want a brother or sister, as if we are actually pregnant, and preparing their little hearts for what God has planned for us.<br />
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Somehow, in the deepest part of my soul, despite the very real and painful realities of adoption, I know this is the direction we are headed. There have been so many times I've put it off because of our season in life or the size of our home or the challenges we were facing with our current children, but more and more recently, I know it is time. There are still challenges and I still end many of my days wondering how to do this whole parenting thing. Truthfully, parenting is probably my area of greatest insecurity. "Am I doing this well? Do I show them enough love? Am I teaching them and training them well enough? Are they going to turn out alright? Will they grow to love Jesus?" play through my head like a recording.<br />
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Why is it that God wants to work through our weaknesses? I would much rather Him choose my areas of strength. I would much rather walk into where He is calling me confident of my abilities to do it well. And yet, so rarely is that how He works. It seems to me that he takes the place we are least sure of, and asks us to trust Him to lead us. He holds our hands as we tell Him we aren't enough to do what He is calling us to do, and He assures us that He is enough. He reminds us that His power is made perfect in our weakness and then tells us to press into Him because His yoke is easy and His burden is light.<br />
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Friends, I know that adoption is hard. So hard. Harder than I ever imagined when the dream bloomed in my heart those many years ago. I know that it isn't going to just be hard for me. It will be hard for the child coming to our home and our family, for our current children, for my husband, for the people in our lives who choose to love and support us through this. No matter the angle I look at this from, I know it will be hard.<br />
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And then I read my own words, penned in a moment of deep feeling and conviction, and know quite deeply and surely, that God calls us to hard things for the sake of others. And while there are so many unknowns and so many bumps in the road we'll need to navigate moving forward, I know I can say "Yes" to Him in this.<br />
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Adoption, with all it's nuances, is the very heart of God. He loved the world so much that the cost of suffering to Him and His Son, was worth the price because it meant we would be His children. And the idea of the children that are yet to be apart of our family makes my heart thrill in the same way that I think God's heart thrills when someone becomes a child of God. In fact, the bible says that the angels in heaven rejoice when one person turns to God. If there is a party in heaven about God's adoptions, then I know that He is cheering us on as we move forward in following His leading in this.<br />
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Pray for us, will you? Pray also for the child or children that may become part of our family. At this point, we haven't done any adoption preparation (classes, home-studies, etc.), and so that means that our children are either not born yet or likely in very hard circumstances. Will you pray that God would begin assuring their hearts and telling them of His deep love for them and the family that is planning and praying for them, even before we ever meet them. Pray they would know the love of God that adopts us into His own family. Pray that they would be surrounded by angels and that God would protect them from as much harm and suffering as possible. Pray that their hearts would be resilient and they would learn the depth and the beauty of a love that gives of itself for others.<br />
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Pray that God would grow us into the parents we will need to be for them and for the children we are already raising and loving. Pray that our children would be blessed and drawn closer to God because of the family members we will be adding. Pray that we would have wisdom as we move forward about where to adopt and how to adopt and which agencies to adopt through. Pray that the Lord would guide our steps. Really, just pray however God might lead you.<br />
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This is the first steps of a journey towards adoption, and right now I have no clear ideas of what this will mean for our family specifically. I have no idea whether He will call us to adopt a terminally ill child or a child with severe disabilities or a child who is so hurt that their heart is numb. I don't know what we are walking into, but I do know that where ever He may lead, I will follow.<br />
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Join me in the journey?<br />
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Elishahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05818194091574470888noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-648620690518315772.post-85074032649616011112017-10-27T12:42:00.001-07:002017-10-27T12:42:39.013-07:00The Abundant LifeAs I was praying, I saw a woman in my mind walking, searching, looking, constantly seeking an illusive <i>something </i>around each new corner and turn. In my mind, I followed her, wondering, "What is she looking for?" She didn't look desperate. She wasn't hurrying. But she kept searching for something.<br />
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I prayed, "God, what is she looking for?" And I heard His voice in my mind, "The Abundant Life."<br />
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"Aren't we all looking for that?" I replied. "Isn't that the search of my heart too?"<br />
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"Yes, but you know the way." And as clear as day, scripture flew into my mind. <i>Whoever wants to gain his life must lose it. Whoever wants to live must die. Whoever wants to be greatest must become least of all. </i> Those words sang into my heart and wove into a beautiful tapestry of losing to gain, dying to live, giving of self to receive joy and peace and purpose and beauty and glory.<br />
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You see, we all hunger for the abundant life. We long for it. You long for it. I long for it. The world longs for it. Even creation desires to live abundantly - producing fruit and life and breath for all the world to partake of. We seek the abundant life in caring for ourselves, in our jobs, in our ministries, in our families. We constantly are tweaking elements of our lives hoping that they will satisfy the searching of our souls for purpose, for meaning, for abundant living.<br />
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And yet Jesus makes the way clear, narrow, but oh so clear. The abundant life is found in giving your life away. Giving your life away with no expectations, no thoughts of reciprocation, no desire for acknowledgement or praise or thanks. How many times are we motivated by the praise of others? By some personal reward or gain? By the hope that they'll reciprocate our love? How many times do we give generously knowing that we cannot be repaid? How long will we continue to reach out in relationship to others with no reciprocation? How many times we will do that chore that no one notices without a desire to be acknowledge or thanked? How long we will persevere in putting another person's good before our own? How many times will we personally suffer for the good of another without acknowledgement or end in sight?<br />
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Dear friends, the world will tell you that these are the ways to burn out, to run out, to lose your life. The world will tell you to take care of yourself, to put your oxygen mask on first, to do what you need for yourself before you can care for others.<br />
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But the Bible will tell you to die. The Bible will lead you down a different path.<br />
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Is it any wonder that we look around America and see very few people living a spiritually abundant life? Is it any wonder that we are all so often searching for purpose and meaning and joy and hope when we are listening to counsel that tells us to care for ourselves first?<br />
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Jesus spent His life pouring out constantly and the only time in scripture you see Him taking for Himself is when He went back to His Father in prayer. And even then, His compassion for others interrupts even His time in prayer with the Father to give and to serve and love and to heal. The end of His life on earth is the beautiful finale of His life lived for others in that He gave His physical life away on a cross to for our sakes! Are we also willing to give our earthly lives away for others' sake?<br />
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Jesus says in Luke 14, "When you give a dinner or a banquet, do not invite your friends or your brothers or your relatives or rich neighbors, lest they also invite you in return and you be repaid. But when you give a feast, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind, and you will be blessed, because they cannot repay you..."<br />
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You will be blessed <i>because </i>they cannot repay you.<br />
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In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus describes the people who are truly blessed and they aren't the people who are rich or comfortable or have a wonderful marriage or parents or family or friends. Those are the things Americans say we are blessed for having, but Jesus describes a blessed person entirely differently:<br />
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"<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;">He said:</span><br />
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<span class="text Matt-5-3" id="en-NIV-23238" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box; position: relative;"><span class="woj" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box;">“Blessed are the poor in spirit,</span></span><br style="box-sizing: border-box;" /><span class="indent-1" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box;"><span class="indent-1-breaks" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: monospace; font-size: 0.42em; line-height: 0;"> </span><span class="text Matt-5-3" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box; position: relative;"><span class="woj" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box;">for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.<span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-NIV-23238B" data-link="(<a href="#cen-NIV-23238B" title="See cross-reference B">B</a>)" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></span></span></span></span><br style="box-sizing: border-box;" /><span class="text Matt-5-4" id="en-NIV-23239" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box; position: relative;"><span class="woj" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box;">Blessed are those who mourn,</span></span><br style="box-sizing: border-box;" /><span class="indent-1" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box;"><span class="indent-1-breaks" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: monospace; font-size: 0.42em; line-height: 0;"> </span><span class="text Matt-5-4" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box; position: relative;"><span class="woj" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box;">for they will be comforted.<span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-NIV-23239C" data-link="(<a href="#cen-NIV-23239C" title="See cross-reference C">C</a>)" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></span></span></span></span><br style="box-sizing: border-box;" /><span class="text Matt-5-5" id="en-NIV-23240" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box; position: relative;"><span class="woj" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box;">Blessed are the meek,</span></span><br style="box-sizing: border-box;" /><span class="indent-1" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box;"><span class="indent-1-breaks" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: monospace; font-size: 0.42em; line-height: 0;"> </span><span class="text Matt-5-5" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box; position: relative;"><span class="woj" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box;">for they will inherit the earth.<span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-NIV-23240D" data-link="(<a href="#cen-NIV-23240D" title="See cross-reference D">D</a>)" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></span></span></span></span><br style="box-sizing: border-box;" /><span class="text Matt-5-6" id="en-NIV-23241" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box; position: relative;"><span class="woj" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box;">Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,</span></span><br style="box-sizing: border-box;" /><span class="indent-1" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box;"><span class="indent-1-breaks" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: monospace; font-size: 0.42em; line-height: 0;"> </span><span class="text Matt-5-6" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box; position: relative;"><span class="woj" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box;">for they will be filled.<span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-NIV-23241E" data-link="(<a href="#cen-NIV-23241E" title="See cross-reference E">E</a>)" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></span></span></span></span><br style="box-sizing: border-box;" /><span class="text Matt-5-7" id="en-NIV-23242" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box; position: relative;"><span class="woj" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box;">Blessed are the merciful,</span></span><br style="box-sizing: border-box;" /><span class="indent-1" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box;"><span class="indent-1-breaks" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: monospace; font-size: 0.42em; line-height: 0;"> </span><span class="text Matt-5-7" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box; position: relative;"><span class="woj" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box;">for they will be shown mercy.<span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-NIV-23242F" data-link="(<a href="#cen-NIV-23242F" title="See cross-reference F">F</a>)" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></span></span></span></span><br style="box-sizing: border-box;" /><span class="text Matt-5-8" id="en-NIV-23243" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box; position: relative;"><span class="woj" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box;">Blessed are the pure in heart,<span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-NIV-23243G" data-link="(<a href="#cen-NIV-23243G" title="See cross-reference G">G</a>)" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></span></span></span><br style="box-sizing: border-box;" /><span class="indent-1" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box;"><span class="indent-1-breaks" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: monospace; font-size: 0.42em; line-height: 0;"> </span><span class="text Matt-5-8" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box; position: relative;"><span class="woj" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box;">for they will see God.<span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-NIV-23243H" data-link="(<a href="#cen-NIV-23243H" title="See cross-reference H">H</a>)" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></span></span></span></span><br style="box-sizing: border-box;" /><span class="text Matt-5-9" id="en-NIV-23244" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box; position: relative;"><span class="woj" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box;">Blessed are the peacemakers,<span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-NIV-23244I" data-link="(<a href="#cen-NIV-23244I" title="See cross-reference I">I</a>)" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></span></span></span><br style="box-sizing: border-box;" /><span class="indent-1" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box;"><span class="indent-1-breaks" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: monospace; font-size: 0.42em; line-height: 0;"> </span><span class="text Matt-5-9" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box; position: relative;"><span class="woj" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box;">for they will be called children of God.<span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-NIV-23244J" data-link="(<a href="#cen-NIV-23244J" title="See cross-reference J">J</a>)" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></span></span></span></span><br style="box-sizing: border-box;" /><span class="text Matt-5-10" id="en-NIV-23245" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box; position: relative;"><span class="woj" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box;">Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness,<span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-NIV-23245K" data-link="(<a href="#cen-NIV-23245K" title="See cross-reference K">K</a>)" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></span></span></span><br style="box-sizing: border-box;" /><span class="indent-1" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box;"><span class="indent-1-breaks" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: monospace; font-size: 0.42em; line-height: 0;"> </span><span class="text Matt-5-10" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box; position: relative;"><span class="woj" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box;">for theirs is the kingdom of heaven."</span></span></span></div>
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Would you like these kinds of blessings? Would you like to describe your life as one of mourning, meekness, and poorness in spirit? He includes the merciful, those who hunger for righteousness, the peacemakers, but we can't ignore that He sees the world and blessing very differently than how we've been raised to see blessing.<br />
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The abundant life isn't found in having more fill-in-the-blank, becoming more fill-in-the-blank, or doing more fill-in-the-blank. The abundant life is found in being willing to suffer and give your life for the sake of another, without expectation and without self-motivation of any kind.<br />
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C.S. Lewis said, "Die before you die, there is no chance after."<br />
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You see, baptism is a picture of us surrendering our earthly life and will and attempts to live for ourselves so that these earthly lives will "die before we die," so that we can experience the resurrection life of Jesus Christ here on earth, just as it is in heaven.<br />
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I think CS Lewis is one of my favorite authors and theologians precisely because he understood the fundamental path to the abundant life - Jesus. If we call ourselves Christians, the Bible says that we will walk as He walked. Our lives should be a reflection of His life and it is only in this beautiful swap, my life for His life, that we even taste the beauty of the abundant life.<br />
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CS Lewis describes it as this:<br />
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"<span style="background-color: white; color: #5b5e5e; font-family: Lora, sans-serif; font-size: 18px;">The more we let God take us over, the more truly ourselves we become – because He made us. He invented us. He invented all the different people that you and I were intended to be. . .It is when I turn to Christ, when I give up myself to His personality, that I first begin to have a real personality of my own.”</span><br />
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Apart from Christ and His life in me, I'm a broken imitation of the fullness that Christ intended for my life. It is only in Him and in giving up my life and my desires and myself for His sake, His kingdom, and others that we can begin to find who we really are. What is more beautiful than seeing a person in all their God-given beauty living out who God intended them to be and what He intended them to do? You see every element of their life shine with the reflected glory of God. But I can assure you that they did not find that life without losing another.<br />
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We cannot find the abundant life in Christ without losing our earthly life and rights. We can try to imitate the abundant life - we see this everywhere in the world. But at the end of the day, when lie on our beds or come to the end of our lives, we will be left with only our Judge and our consciences, and a life lived for self will never be sufficient to satisfy either.<br />
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A life lived for Christ and others is the only thing we can present to Christ when we come to die. We must give our earthly lives up to Him now to experience the beauty of the abundant life here and in the hereafter.<br />
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I pray that we all would die so that we might live.<br />
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<span class="text John-15-12" id="en-ESV-26700" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><span class="woj" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box;">“This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.</span></span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"> </span><span class="text John-15-13" id="en-ESV-26701" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><span class="woj" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box;"><span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-ESV-26701Z" data-link="(<a href="#cen-ESV-26701Z" title="See cross-reference Z">Z</a>)" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></span>Greater love has no one than this, <span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-ESV-26701AA" data-link="(<a href="#cen-ESV-26701AA" title="See cross-reference AA">AA</a>)" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></span>that someone lay down his life for his friends."</span></span><br />
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This is the secret, Christ in you, living through you, loving others and giving you the strength to lay down your life for Him and the world. Right before this verse in John 15, Jesus speaks about living in Him and letting Him live His life out through you and he ends that portion with these words:<br />
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;">"These things I have spoken to you, </span><span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-ESV-26699W" data-link="(<a href="#cen-ESV-26699W" title="See cross-reference W">W</a>)" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;">that my joy may be in you, and that </span><span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-ESV-26699X" data-link="(<a href="#cen-ESV-26699X" title="See cross-reference X">X</a>)" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;">your joy may be full."</span><br />
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Do you want joy that overflows because you are so filled to the brim with it? Give your life away. You won't regret it. I promise. Because you will find a new life far richer in joy and hope than you can possibly imagine. <br />
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Jesus describes the kingdom of heaven being like a man who finds a pearl of great value and sells everything he owns to obtain that pearl. My hope is that we have the wisdom to do the same and give our earthly lives to receive a heavenly life that can never be taken from us.<br />
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{Our abundant garden flourishing in our old home in Oregon }Elishahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05818194091574470888noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-648620690518315772.post-52166172591387151482017-07-10T12:56:00.003-07:002017-07-10T12:56:57.577-07:004 Resolutions to Live By: Carpe Diem"Resolved, to live with all my might."<br />
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The words jumped out at my from the page, hitting my heart with a palpable force, and I realized that was what I've been missing.<br />
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"Resolved, never to lose one moment of time; but improve it the most profitable way I possibly can.<br />
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Resolved, that I will live so, as I shall wish I had done when I come to die."<br />
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I read an article once, a number of years ago, that discussed that which people regret most; they are not often mistakes made, but are rather those things which were never done. It struck me, as I read this article, that my time is too often spent doing the things I must do, but not often enough spent savoring the moments in front of me - squeezing out of each moment all the joy and benefit that could be had from them.<br />
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What does it look like to live with all my might? What would it look like to not lose a moment of time? What would it look like to live with intention?<br />
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I grabbed my journal and furiously began scribbling away. First copying Jonathon Edwards resolutions down and determining to claim them as my own. Then pondering what a life like this would look like. What would it look like to not just endure the challenging moments of parenting, but to really enter in fully to each moment and to improve it in the most profitable way I can? Would I feel less like a babysitter and more like I had a sacred duty to joyfully fulfill?<br />
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What would it look like to spend my evenings, creating beauty or bringing order to chaos - contributing something beautiful to my home and family rather than indulging in the unsatisfying past time of entertainment?<br />
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More than a year ago, I listened to <a href="http://andyandelisha.blogspot.com/2017/05/learning-to-dance-ode-to-friend-on.html">my dear friend</a> share her heart at a women's retreat. As she spoke on discipleship, she talked about how God had moved in her heart to turn interruptions into opportunities. When I heard her words, I realized they were exactly what I needed to hear as a mama of three little ones. The constant interruptions that come from having three small children were endless - thousands of little tasks interrupted by their needs and demands and problems and desires. At times it felt overwhelming and unmanageable, especially when the needs of one child conflicted with the needs of another. How on earth does a mom supply the needs of their children when they just don't have enough "mom" to give? <br />
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These words spoke to my heart reminding me that each of these interruptions, each of their needs, was an opportunity in disguise. An opportunity to disciple them in the truth. An opportunity to show love and patience and forgiveness. An opportunity to teach them something new. An opportunity to point them to Jesus for their needs. So many opportunities hidden beneath the guise of an interruption.<br />
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I faithfully began to apply these ideas in my parenting - reminding myself that each moment with them was precious and that it was so important to not let their needs overwhelm me, but let them instead remind me of my need for Jesus and His amazing ability to use each overwhelming situation as an opportunity to invest in my children and their future.<br />
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As time ticks by, the firmness of our resolutions can get lost and diluted. Each moment stopped feeling like an opportunity and somewhere along the way, I slipped into what I call "babysitting mode," where you are just trying to enjoy the time together and make sure everyone stays alive and healthy. It was easy to set aside the challenge of the task that God had set in front of me - to disciple and train my children in the Truth in favor of just being happy and comfortable together. Sure, we still read bible stories together and prayed together. We still went to church (or did church on our own at home). In so many ways, I could convince myself that I was still discipling my children.<br />
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But the truth was, I wasn't. Discipleship isn't just giving your kids or others more head knowledge. It isn't just even modeling for them a Christ-honoring life.<br />
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When we look at Jesus' life, much of his daily ministry consisted of taking the interruption in front of him and using it as an opportunity to intentionally disciple and love the people in front of him. He didn't waste his time. He didn't just give people more head knowledge. He didn't even just model to them how to pray or teach or do religious activity, although he certainly did those things.<br />
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His life consisted of taking every thought, every moment captive to the will of His Father. His life consisted of not losing a moment of time, but improving it in the most profitable way possible. He took passing encounters and through the intention and leading of His father, He revolutionized lives and villages and cities and, ultimately, the world. A woman at a well - changed, along with her whole village through a simple intentional conversation. Many lives changed and bodies healed in an instant because of the willingness to stop and seize the full possibility of using every moment to bring God glory and to take an interruption and make it an opportunity.<br />
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We too, have this choice: will we make the most of every moment and live it with all our might? Will we refuse to simply laze away our lives, but rather squeeze with intention and attentiveness to the Spirit of God the full possibility of each moment of our life? Will we choose to set aside our own comforts and entertainment to enter fully into the possibilities in front of us - refusing to simply consume life but to give life and bring life into this world? Will we choose to see the frustrations and challenges in front of us as divine opportunities to usher in the Kingdom of God more fully? Will we enter into relationships with kingdom intentionality and fully embrace and love and disciple the ones in front us to our fullest ability and Christ's fullest ability within us? We will take our God-given gifts and skills and daily strive to serve others and grow in them and seek to bring God glory with all that we are and all that we do in every moment that we live?<br />
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Will we, as Jonathan Edwards resolved, live so as we had wish we had done when we come to die?<br />
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These words are challenging and convicting to my soul. I want to live! Friends, I want to really live, and live well and with intention, to the fullest of my ability. When I get to heaven, I want to say that I ran this race with all my might and that I ran to get the prize. I don't want to simply say I exercised a bit - I want to know that I gave it everything I've got, not holding anything back.<br />
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In other words, I want to seize each moment, and with all the force and choosing power in me, live it to the fullest, contributing all that I have to improving it and living it for the sake of Christ's kingdom.<br />
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Jonathon Edward's resolutions continue and his twenty-second resolution was this:<br />
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"Resolved, to endeavor to obtain for myself as much happiness, in the other world, as I possibly can, with all the power, might, vigor, and vehemence, yea violence, I am capable of, or can bring myself to exert, in any way that can be thought of."<br />
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Whoa. Lest this come across as selfish or un-Christlike in anyway, remember that our greatest happiness in heaven can only be obtained by living our life fully for Christ here on earth - becoming the least and the lowest in order that heaven-side, Christ might raise us up. "Whoever wants to be great among you, must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first, must be slave of all."<br />
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Jesus talks often in the gospels about the Kingdom of Heaven and he says in Matthew 11:12AMP, "the kingdom of heaven suffers violent assault, and violent men seize it by force [as a precious prize]."<br />
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If we are to seize the Kingdom of Heaven by force, as a precious prize, it means living with all the might and power we have within us to take each moment and squeeze out of it all the kingdom potential we can.<br />
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As we look at this verse in Matthew, it alludes that there is a war waging - a common theme we see in the gospels; a war is being waged against the kingdom of heaven by the enemy, or the adversary, or the devil. And yet, in this verse, and others like it, we see that a certain amount of inward determination and willpower is necessary in order to fight for the Kingdom of Heaven. If the battle we are facing is against an adversary who wants the Kingdom of Heaven to suffer losses - which is often done through the choice of people to live for themselves rather than God - then it stands to reason that to seize the Kingdom of Heaven by force is through choosing, with all our might, to live for God rather than for ourselves.<br />
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In so many ways, living for Jesus is the crazy life of giving up your own rights for the sake of others and the gospel - the backward kingdom where we find life in death, greatness in becoming less, more in giving up, and finding in losing. It's backwards, but it seems to be the way He likes to usher in His kingdom. The wisdom of Heaven is foolishness to earthly reason, but it is life and power to those who are being saved. Basically, these upside-down ways our King chooses to advance His kingdom might make no sense to those who don't know Him, but to those of us who have been changed by His grace and have found true life in losing our earthly lives, we know that this is the true power of God! We know that we only find life when we give our lives up and that the choice to give our life up is a daily intentional thing that requires absolute surrender to the will of God through faith and a willingness to choose, with all our might, to live for that which is not seen. It's crazy!<br />
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This is it - will we willingly choose to live with all our might while we do yet live? We only get one shot. We have but one life to live and will we choose, to live it for a Kingdom we don't yet see and for a God whose ways are foolishness to those who don't know Him? Will we die to ourselves so that we can live in Him? And will we live, with all our might and power, to take mundane interruptions and experiences and turn them into opportunities for our future happiness heaven-side? Will we have an eternal view that says that these moments, small though they are, are achieving for me an eternal weight of glory, through the transformative power of Jesus Christ and through my willingness to fight for His glory over my momentary comfort?<br />
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I read once that a priority is something you do. Until you act, it is only a wish. How true these words are! We show our priorities in what we do. I'm choosing these resolutions because, I long to DO them and turn my life from valuing these ideas to making them a priority.<br />
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Starting right now - by grabbing my sweet children's chubby cheeks and planting kisses on their giggling faces and knowing that I only get one "now." I want to seize it with all my might, and live it for a kingdom and a King that is yet to be seen.<br />
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Will you seize your "now" and resolve with me to live each moment to the fullest, as we shall wish we had done when we come to die? Will you resolve with all your might to improve each moment in the most profitable way you can, and see your interruptions as opportunities?<br />
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Carpe Diem. Seize the Day.<br />
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Elishahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05818194091574470888noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-648620690518315772.post-58345393588244501572017-06-29T12:12:00.000-07:002017-06-29T12:12:23.516-07:00I'm pretty much a horrible human being...I've spent the last couple days basically being a horrible human being. Or at least, trying really hard to stop the horrible human being tendencies in my heart from popping out in my actions. Unfortunately, behavior modification only works so well - with children and adults - and eventually the heart issues have to be addressed.<br />
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During this season, God has been focused on a lesson I'm starting to think of as the "Do" vs "Be" dichotomy. I almost wrote that God is focused on teaching me to "be," but it is even less defined than that because "teaching" would imply a lesson I could conquer and learn and then move on from. Rather, it is a more subtle call to simply pull back from doing and accomplishing and achieving and just rest in relationship. It's a call to find my identity in relationship with Him rather than in how good I am or how much I do for Jesus or how impactful my limited time on earth was for His Kingdom.<br />
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And I hate it. If I'm going to be totally honest, I like finding my value in what I do. It's tangible and it's something I can hold on to. It can define me to others. I can say, "I do these things therefore I am." I lead Bible studies, therefore I am spiritually mature. I tell people about Jesus, therefore I am on mission for God. I give to the poor, therefore I am generous. Ugh! I see the pride so clearly in these things, but I am realizing as I'm meeting new people that Jesus is just going to have to shine through ME and not my resume of good deeds for Him - and I'm struggling with that. I've always wanted to be a missionary, but I'm starting to think it is, in part, the ultimate culmination of wanting to find my spiritual identity in what I do. A missionary is a professional christian in so many ways and being a missionary must mean that I really love Jesus - or at least that's what it says to others.<br />
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And while I know in my head that it is SO good for God to strip me of these things and show me this ugly pride and the identity I found in "doing," I hate it. Because it shows me who I am without these things and how I don't go to Jesus unless I need Him to help me "do." I don't just choose Him for His sake. I choose Him for how He can help me be and do the things I think I need to do. These last couple days (weeks?) have been me just wrestling against this thing in me that wants to rise up and do - to find value in working for Jesus. Join a ministry. Lead a bible study. Start a church. I want something to work towards. I want something to define me. I don't just want to hang out and love people.<br />
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And here I am dumping my sin and pride and ick on all of you, dear friends, and the tears come to my eyes as I write these words because, in confessing it all out loud, I can see just how broken I am inside. Just how truly desperate I am for Jesus. Just how much I've been deceived to think that my doing is the definition of who I am. If I do the right things, I must be godly. If I act the right way, I must truly be surrendered to Jesus. And friends, I so needed to learn how to act the right way and do the right things at one point in my life. The Bible says the law is a tutor, and it is, it breaks us so fully of our ability to rely on ourselves to have a relationship with God. It leads us to see that it is truly and completely His grace that allows us to draw near to Him. But now His grace is letting me see, as if in neon signs, that I come to the foot of the cross needing grace and mercy not just for my "bad" deeds, but even for my good deeds.<br />
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All these years, God has faithfully loved me and allowed me to draw near to Him, even knowing my heart and my motives had some self mixed in. All these years, He saw my inabillity to just "be" and patiently bore with me through it all - never critical, never pulling back, always faithful, always there.<br />
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And somehow that breaks my heart even more. That while I was using Him, even unintentionally, He just stayed true and kind and good to me. He blessed me and loved me. He spoke to me and even told me He was proud of me.<br />
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And friends, that's grace. "It is God who saved us and chose us to live a holy life. He did this not because we deserved it, but because that was his plan long before the world began - to show his love and kindness to us through Christ Jesus." 2 Tim 1:9<br />
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He says that He sees us with Christ's merit - undeserved favor from Jesus' accomplishments. And that blows me away because I want God's favor for my accomplishments and yet to Him, our good works are "filthy rags." How can this be? How can we have a God who calls us to live a holy life, but then views our goodness as "filthy rags."<br />
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I'm finding the answer is that God isn't as interested in our "Do" as our "Be." He's more interested in who we have a relationship with than how we have an impact on the world. I was the reading the Bible to the kids the other day, and read these words:<br />
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"<span style="background-color: #fdfeff; color: #001320; font-family: "arimo" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 15px; text-align: justify;">And this is the way to have eternal life--</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #fdfeff; color: #001320; font-family: "arimo" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 15px; text-align: justify;">to know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, the one you sent to earth."</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #fdfeff; color: #001320; font-family: "arimo" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 15px; text-align: justify;">John 17:3</span></div>
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That's it. Real life is just knowing God and Jesus. And somehow I make it so complicated - I get caught up in all the details and all the nuances and all the practicalities - but Jesus keeps it simple: know Me.<br />
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I want to know Him. But how often do I get distracted in doing for Him that miss out on just being with Him? How often do I choose distraction over just sitting in His presence? Before Indiana, I wouldn't have seen it because I went to Him frequently because I needed his help. I had my hands in so much doing, I couldn't do it all without Him jumping in too. But now, with no doing, I have to go to Him because I want to be with Him. The difference is subtle - one I haven't paid close attention to - but it is there.<br />
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I wonder how many of us would slowly drift away from closeness with God if we never needed Him to show up. I wonder how many of us would spend time elsewhere if we didn't have places in our life that needed His intervention? If everything was perfect all the time, would we still choose Him?<br />
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Jesus says that it is harder for a rich man to enter heaven than a camel to go through the eye of the needle and maybe this is because we shy away from relationship with God unless we need Him for something. Jesus follows this statement with, "All things are possible with God" - which gives me hope that God can give us hearts that want Him for His sake and not for what He can do for us.<br />
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Thankfully, His love for us isn't dependent on our performance, it is simply dependent on who we know. Do we know Him? Jesus says MANY will come to him in the last day saying "Lord, Lord, didn't we do all these things for you?" and Jesus will say, "Depart from me, for I never knew you." That's scary to me, especially consider this lesson that God is teaching me. He's more interested in just hanging out with me than He is in what I do. He's more interested in spending time getting to know each other than in how much I read my bible or whether I am a good parent or whether I give all my money to the poor. He's more interested in a love relationship with me than whether I live as a missionary or are martyred for His name.<br />
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"<span class="text 1Cor-13-1" id="en-NIV-28667" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "verdana" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 16px;">If I speak in the tongues<span class="footnote" data-fn="#fen-NIV-28667a" data-link="[<a href="#fen-NIV-28667a" title="See footnote a">a</a>]" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></span><span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-NIV-28667A" data-link="(<a href="#cen-NIV-28667A" title="See cross-reference A">A</a>)" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></span> of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "verdana" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"> </span><span class="text 1Cor-13-2" id="en-NIV-28668" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "verdana" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 16px;">If I have the gift of prophecy<span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-NIV-28668B" data-link="(<a href="#cen-NIV-28668B" title="See cross-reference B">B</a>)" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></span> and can fathom all mysteries<span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-NIV-28668C" data-link="(<a href="#cen-NIV-28668C" title="See cross-reference C">C</a>)" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></span> and all knowledge,<span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-NIV-28668D" data-link="(<a href="#cen-NIV-28668D" title="See cross-reference D">D</a>)" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></span> and if I have a faith<span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-NIV-28668E" data-link="(<a href="#cen-NIV-28668E" title="See cross-reference E">E</a>)" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></span> that can move mountains,<span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-NIV-28668F" data-link="(<a href="#cen-NIV-28668F" title="See cross-reference F">F</a>)" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></span> but do not have love, I am nothing.</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "verdana" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"> </span><span class="text 1Cor-13-3" id="en-NIV-28669" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "verdana" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 16px;">If I give all I possess to the poor<span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-NIV-28669G" data-link="(<a href="#cen-NIV-28669G" title="See cross-reference G">G</a>)" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></span> and give over my body to hardship that I may boast,<span class="footnote" data-fn="#fen-NIV-28669b" data-link="[<a href="#fen-NIV-28669b" title="See footnote b">b</a>]" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></span><span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-NIV-28669H" data-link="(<a href="#cen-NIV-28669H" title="See cross-reference H">H</a>)" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></span> but do not have love, I gain nothing." 1 Cor 13:1-3</span><br />
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Without love - His love for us and our love for Him - we are nothing.<br />
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I am learning that my love is small, and that while I do love Him and have loved Him all these years - that I have much to learn about love and it what it means to live in love. I have much to learn about setting aside my doing and striving and achieving to humbly be and sit with Him - soaking Him in and not just receiving His help.<br />
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I don't entirely know how to go about this, but He's always been such a faithful teacher, I'm confident He'll lead me in the paths of love and relationship. And when I struggle, His grace is there for me - catching me up in the winds of His love because ultimately, He chose me and nothing can snatch me from His hand, not even my own mistakes and failures. Even if I continue to struggle against finding myself in what I do, He has hold of my hand and is leading me in these paths of identity.<br />
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Who am I? I am loved by God. I am His daughter. I am His friend.<br />
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And I definitely don't deserve those titles, but they've been given because of grace and love and His persistent desire to have a relationship with me and with all people since the dawn of time.<br />
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Maybe you've been defining yourself by what you do or have done or are yet to do - but I would encourage you today - to stop and sit at His feet, put the "Do's" aside and let Him tell you who you ARE - who He has made you to be. It might surprise you, but I doubt it will have much to do with what you will accomplish for Him and will have everything to do with what He has accomplished for you.<br />
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"You didn't choose me. I chose you. I appointed you to go and produce fruit that will last, so that the Father will give you whatever ask you for, using my name. I command you to love each other."<br />
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Let's remember this - we didn't choose Him, He chose us. The fruit that lasts is just a result of us living in Him and Him living in us.<br />
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"God is love, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them. And as we live in God, our love grows more perfect." John 4:16b<br />
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Listen to His words - as we live in God, our love grows more perfect. Not as we learn more. Not as we do more. As we live in Him. As we love Him and receive His love for us.<br />
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Father - live in us and let us live in You. Let us draw close to you with pure hearts, and know the love of God that is in Christ Jesus. Let us know You and draw close to You - allowing you to make our love more like Yours.<br />
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"He leads me beside still waters; He restores my soul."</div>
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Elishahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05818194091574470888noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-648620690518315772.post-59971454740361761932017-06-23T10:11:00.001-07:002017-06-23T11:43:20.942-07:00Tending our HeartsI walked out into the sunshine and there, staring me in the face, was a patch of twisting and sporadic green popping out from my garden beds. Weeds. Lovely. Irritation surged in me, I had spent days pulling those nasty buggers from the ground. Two weeks of taking my shovel and digging and grasping at roots and leafs with my bare hands. Two weeks of dirt beneath my fingernails, hunched over in the hot sun making room for the plants I really want to see grow and thrive.<br />
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And then in the space of a few days and a bit of rain, they all came back.<br />
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<i>What's the point? Why bother pulling them up if they'll just come back? </i> Discouragement flooded in as I realized that I would be pulling these weeds again and again. If I wanted my garden plants to thrive, I needed to pull them up. A weed will leach the nutrients from the soil that my tomatoes and peppers need to survive. A weed will suck all the goodness out and leave my precious plants struggling to produce fruit. And while there are some tips and tricks to help prevent weeds and suppress them, weeds will keep at your garden as long as there is soil, sun, and water - things I dare not deprive my lovely garden plants of.</div>
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Years ago, with dear friends gathered in a living room studying the Word, we read this passage in Matthew 13 that talks about a farmer who planted seed; some of the seed fell on soil that was full of weeds and thorns and in the end was choked out and didn't grow to produce fruit. As we shared about this parable, and read about how the seed was the Truth planted in our life and how weeds were the concerns of this world and the love of money, we laughed about how we need to keep weeding our lives and keep our soil ready for planting and growing a harvest. We joked as each of us faced "weeds" that needed pulling in our life and laughingly called out "weed" whenever each of us was struggling with a small sin that needed pulling. </div>
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And as I stared at this garden, full of weeds popping up again, I realized that this weeding process doesn't end. Sometimes it becomes less taxing, as we learn ways to help suppress the weeds, but ultimately, we must keep weeding because the weeds will choke out the fruitfulness of our gardens.</div>
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This week has been full of God pointing out areas in my heart that need weeding. Areas of parenting I need to grow in, places where sin has cropped up in my thoughts and attitudes, places where I need to set aside time to just spend with Jesus, choosing Him above the distractions of this world and the demands of life, and places where I need to repent of choosing myself and comfort over His Kingdom and His ways.<br />
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And sometimes, it just feels so discouraging to keep facing down the same struggles, or even those new little ones that pop up. Sometimes it just feels easier to let those weeds grow alongside the good plants. I've felt so discouraged looking at my garden and looking at my life, realizing there is still so much work to do. Sure, maybe there are no "big" sins or blackberry bushes that are taking over everything, but there sure are a lot of little sins and weeds that need attending to. In some ways, dealing with the big areas of rebellion in our life can be more satisfying - we pull them up and kill the roots thoroughly and then we move on. But the daily weeding can be so mundane and so easily overlooked for a time, that once they start overgrowing the garden of your life, it takes effort and commitment to bend over and slowly, one by one, deal with each little weed. It's not spectacular, but it is so necessary.<br />
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As I was praying over my "weeds," I asked God to point out each one, and gently as I named each sin against Him, I felt peace replace the discouragement that comes from those little buggers staying untended.<br />
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"<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "verdana" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 16px;">Search me,</span><span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-NIV-16263AM" data-link="(<a href="#cen-NIV-16263AM" title="See cross-reference AM">AM</a>)" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "verdana" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "verdana" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"> </span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "verdana" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 16px;">God, and know my heart;</span></div>
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<span class="indent-1" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "verdana" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><span class="indent-1-breaks" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: monospace; font-size: 0.42em; line-height: 0;"> </span><span class="text Ps-139-23" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box; position: relative;">test me and know my anxious thoughts.</span></span></div>
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<span class="text Ps-139-24" id="en-NIV-16264" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "verdana" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 16px; position: relative;">See if there is any offensive way<span class="crossreference" data-cr="#cen-NIV-16264AO" data-link="(<a href="#cen-NIV-16264AO" title="See cross-reference AO">AO</a>)" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"></span> in me,</span></div>
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I prayed that scripture over my heart, asking Him to reveal to me each anxious thought or offensive way, asking Him to lead me in the way of life.<br />
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And He is so faithful, and yet so gentle; He just bends down and right there beside you, He begins to pull the weeds too. Except He works so much more efficiently and He pulls up the root so they don't grow back. He doesn't just scrape the heads off the tops of the weeds (much like my children do when they help me in the garden and much like I do when I am dealing with those heart weeds), but he digs down deep and gets the whole ugly thing. He faithfully stoops beside us and lovingly works in our heart-gardens. He tends to our soul like a gardener over His crop and He loves when we yield to Him and let Him work health and life into our soil and remove all the junk that is crowding out the fruit that He wants to produce in us.<br />
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When we deal with our weeds apart from Him, we're just scraping the tops off, but when we give those weeds over to His loving care, He roots them out and makes the soil healthy again.</div>
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As I dug my hands deep into the soil again, pulling up the roots of weed after weed, the ground slowly began to clear, and hope and joy sprang up in my heart where discouragement had been. The work may be repetitive and it may be daily, but life springs up in the hearts of those who keep tending to the weeds because we can know that His grace is sufficient for us and that He is faithful to keep planting and tending and caring for our souls and our lives, and so we can bend down with Him and dig out the ugly weeds that dare to grow there, not angry or discouraged that we're dealing again with our sin, but grateful that even though He knows the weeds will come back, He keeps laboring alongside our soil, tending to it and making it ready for the seeds that will grow to produce fruit.<br />
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I made a list and prayed over it. I repented and apologized where it was needed. I committed to seek Him in areas I had excluded Him from. I committed to relying on Him to help me do what was best for my kids instead of choosing my own preferences. As these little weeds were pulled, my garden started to look healthier and feel healthier. I can feel the soil of my heart getting healthier - ready to feed that which is good and right and holy. I can feel His Spirit start taking over areas where I had left neglected.<br />
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After letting Him do His work in my heart, I sat and marveled at who He is and how faithful He is to me. At this point in my walk with Jesus, I shouldn't be surprised that He is so patient with me, slow to anger and rich in love. And yet, so often, when I bring my weedy garden to Him, I expect Him to feel the same discouragement with me that I feel with myself. And yet, He never does. He reminds me again and again that He knew all along these weeds were there and He isn't overwhelmed by them. He actually enjoys tending to my soul as much as I enjoy tending to my garden. He knows the fruit is coming and He's eager to make it as fruitful as it possibly can be. He's eager to see me thrive and these weeds aren't beyond His gardening abilities.<br />
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You guys, isn't He amazing? Let's not hesitate to bring our garden to Him. Let's not hesitate to own up to our weeds. Let's not hesitate to let Him root them out. He just wants us to thrive. He just wants us to produce fruit. He just wants to care for us and tend to our souls. Isn't that the most miraculous thing? He loves us and wants what's best for us. Will we yield to His tender care when it means digging down in the dirt with Him and pulling up each little weed that has been left untended?<br />
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Will you take time today and ask Him to show you your weeds? Ask him if there is any offensive way in you. Grab and pen and paper and write what comes to mind. Then commit those areas to the Lord's weeding and let him produce life in those areas and lead you in the way everlasting.<br />
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He is so faithful and so good and so kind. Let's let Him tend to our hearts. </div>
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Elishahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05818194091574470888noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-648620690518315772.post-91280058323819366182017-06-16T11:27:00.000-07:002017-06-16T11:27:25.600-07:00When your life is crumbling and you don't know where God is...My phone rang. I knew I was in no shape to be encouraging and as I watched her name flash on my phone, I almost didn't answer. I had nothing to give. But I knew she wouldn't care. I knew she would love me even if I was wreck.<br />
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She heard it in my voice when I answered and asked with a voice of true concern, "How are <i>you </i>doing?" <br />
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And then I broke down in tears, sharing how everything felt like it was falling apart. That morning I had woken up and looked in my fridge and realized we were about out of food altogether. And then Andy called and said we had about $20 in our account to last us the week and between that moment and then, we had two birthdays to celebrate and no presents bought and very little food in the cupboards.<br />
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We had a made a commitment when we moved out here that we would live debt free, no matter the cost. And then Isabel had a cavity that continued to get worse until it could no longer be put off. We scheduled her a dental appointment and prayed that God would provide the funds or heal her tooth before that time. The day of her appointment came around, her tooth was not healed and our finances were the same. I sobbed. We were trying so hard to honor God and take care of our family and follow where He was leading us. It felt like He had abandoned us and just didn't care.<br />
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We had gone to the appointment and she had the work done and we put it on our credit card and that's when I started to fall apart. A voice kept accusing me that we had failed. Should we have waited longer for God to heal her tooth even though it was infected and it truly couldn't wait? Why didn't he heal her? Why didn't He provide food for our family? We came to Indiana for Him, at His leading, and everywhere I looked, it felt like He brought us out here to abandon us.<br />
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Not coincidentally, I had just finished reading through Exodus and the words the Israelites cried out to Moses rang in my ears, "Why did you bring us out here to die?"<br />
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I felt my heart feeling those same doubts, "Why did you bring us out here to just abandon us?"<br />
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Does God even care about us? Images flashed through my mind of children starving in Africa, Christians being persecuted around the world, and I wondered whether He would show up for us or whether we were just on our own out here. I so badly wanted to take control right back out of His hands. Something rose up in me, angry, <i>Fine, if You won't provide for us, we'll find our own way to take care of ourselves.</i><br />
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"We, our children, and our livestock will all die!" (Exodus 17:3b) <br />
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That's what the Israelites had said to Moses. God let them get there, to a place where they were facing a real possibility of losing everything, even theirs and their children's lives, to follow God into a desert with no idea of where they were going or what He would do. They weren't asking these things because they weren't comfortable, they were angry because it seemed like God had abandoned them and left them for dead. Is that what He wanted to do with us?<br />
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I knew the thoughts were ugly, and as I wrestled with them. Even with the knowledge that God did provide for the Israelites and the promises He has given us in His word through Jesus, which was far more assurance than the Israelites had at that time, I felt those feelings of doubt spring up out of me: did God care? Was He going to show up for us?<br />
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I cried hard ugly tears as I brought all these dark thoughts into the light of day with my dear friend on the phone that day. She listened and we talked and as the lies were exposed to the light, they lost their power over me. As I shared every doubt and fear, and I confessed out loud the truth I knew in my heart, it felt like chains began to fall off my heart and peace slowly trickled into the place where fear and doubt had held me hostage.<br />
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There is an amazing thing that happens when you pull out a lie from the enemy and you expose it to the light. As we know, when a light shines into the darkness, the darkness vanishes and it cannot overcome it. So it is, as we shine light onto the lies we believe, confessing what is true and right and good, those lies lose power over us and can no longer keep our hearts in darkness. As each lie I believed was said out loud, and the truth of who I knew God to be and what He has promised He will do was said over those doubts, they couldn't stand up to the Truth and they couldn't keep me bound.<br />
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I walked away from that phone conversation, faith renewed and hope restored. Peace trickled back into its home in my heart and while I had no assurances of what God would do, I had complete assurance in who He was and that He loved me, and that was enough for my heart.<br />
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We spent our last $20 on groceries and the next day when Isabel came home from VBS, she shared how they were raising money for missionaries in Russia. She wanted to give money to them. She had saved $5 and I asked her whether she wanted to use that money. She looked at me for a moment, thoughtful and contemplative, and said, "Okay, it's more important that the missionaries share about Jesus with the kids than for me to buy stuff." She grabbed her money and we ran through the house together looking for spare coins under couch cushions and in jars, laughing and talking about how exciting it was to be able to give to the work the missionaries were doing. We collected about $7 dollars and then Melody ran in with her piggy bank, "I want to give all my money to the missionaries too!" We gathered it all together and the next morning at VBS, we gave away all the money we had in the world, every last penny.<br />
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It was odd, the strange joy we all felt. From the youngest of us to the oldest. As the girls dropped the change in, happy giggles escaped their lips and the words, "It is more blessed to give than to receive," flew through my mind. Truly, they were more joyful giving their money away than they had ever been spending it.<br />
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We walked away that morning feeling oddly free. And that's when God started showing off.<br />
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That same day, my phone rang - our house had an offer for $5,000 above asking price! The mail opened - a check for a $1,000 from someone who had heard through the grapevine that things had been tight. Andy called - his boss had just informed him he would be receiving a raise! All in the same day that we had given away our last penny.<br />
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I went to bed that night, a smile etched on my face, reeling a bit at how God had just parted our "red sea." We had stood, looking at the impossible situation in front of us, overwhelmed and intimidated, and He had just been waiting to show off. Somewhere, in between leaving Oregon and Him showing up, He built in us a stronger faith and trust in Him. He came through, but after He had won the victory in our hearts first.<br />
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Because, I don't think His provision was the victory at all. I think the victory was the moment when we choose to trust Him even when our eyes couldn't see what He had planned. I think the victory was when our hearts chose to say, "Your will be done on earth, in our lives."<br />
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Perhaps, God waits to show up, so that a work can be done in our hearts first. Perhaps, He is waiting so He can show us the parts of our hearts that aren't fully trusting Him. Perhaps, He waits because it is truly what is best for us.<br />
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And while we often know those things in our heads, I think sometimes we have to take out what we believe in our hearts and let the light of His truth shine so brightly over the dark places so that even when we are facing the possibility of God not showing up, our hearts are strengthened in faith believing that He is faithful even though we are faithless, because He cannot deny Himself (2 Tim 2:11-13). His nature is faithfulness.<br />
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If we believe that <i>who </i>He is is Faithful, that faithful is as much His identity as Love, we can combat the lies of the enemy that says He will abandon us. He will not show up.<br />
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"God is not a man that He should lie," (Numbers 23:19). Do we believe that? Or do we treat God and His promises as if He is like us? As if what He has said is a lie? Are we living in a way that says we believe God will <b>not </b>do what He says He will do? Are we remaking God into our own image - imagining Him as faithless to us and trying to arrest control of our lives back from His hands?<br />
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He cannot deny himself - He is faithful. He will show up. Sometimes I think He waits to test the quality of our faith - like a tempering of steel. He waits to make us stronger. He waits to make us faithful. He waits for our sake, simply because He is faithful, and our faith is more precious to Him than solid gold. It only makes sense that He would temper it and purify it so that we might trust Him more and more.<br />
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Perhaps today we ought to take out the places in our hearts that are doubting His faithfulness, and expose them to the light of His truth and let Him shine so brightly that His faithfulness replaces our faithlessness, and we become more like Him rather than trying to bring Him down to look more like us.<br />
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His Word is true, yesterday, today, and forever. Let's believe Him to be faithful. Always.<br />
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<br />Elishahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05818194091574470888noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-648620690518315772.post-17020838102366013682017-05-30T09:48:00.000-07:002017-06-16T11:13:11.338-07:00Heaven on Earth: The ChurchBefore we left for Indiana, God made it clear that we weren't to attend a local church here. In so many ways, this development knocked me off my feet a bit, wondering how we'd plant a church while we didn't have any other relationships here. I struggled with worry about being isolated and about not having other believers to meet with and pray with.<br />
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As I shared with Andy what God had told me, he agreed. "I think we'll get too caught up in spending all our time with Christians if we start going to a church. We'll want to get involved, but then our life won't be spent reaching out to people who don't yet know Jesus." I hadn't thought about that - how Christians feel like home to me and how easy it is just to spend all our time with them, but in doing that, we have missed out on relationships with people who don't know Jesus.<br />
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You see, while at one time, <a href="http://andyandelisha.blogspot.com/2017/05/a-jesus-centered-church.html">I struggled to love the church at all</a>, God so radically changed my heart over the last 10 years that I find myself wishing to spend all my time with other believers - talking about God together, praying, worshiping, and growing together. It feels like home because it is the only picture on earth that is actually even close to my future home with Jesus in heaven. God has placed a longing in me for heaven, and the church is the closest place on earth where we'll find that. True, the church is affected by sin and that used to be all I saw, but when God changed me, it changed how I saw the church. Now I see these beautiful people that God has created and He has given me vision to see them as they will be when we are all finally home; He's given me vision to see them as they truly are: redeemed saints.<br />
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And so to ask me to temporarily set aside my little heaven here on earth was like asking Abraham to give up Isaac. My heart and passion is the church. My home is the church. My life is about building God's church.And yet, God was asking me to set this on the altar too.<br />
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I tested the request a bit, bringing up verses like "Don't forsake the gathering together of believers." And His gentle spirit reminded me that we weren't - we may be a small gathering of believers, but we are still gathering and meeting and praying and learning and growing as a family of missionary servants. We are still holding up God's word over our life and even meeting with believers during the week and praying with believers over the phone. We hadn't forsaken His church, we'd committed ourselves to building it. And maybe from the outside that distinction isn't obvious, but it is a clear difference in our hearts and purpose.<br />
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We aren't disillusioned with the church. We are not bitter or angry or resentful. We are not exploring our identities separate of Christ and His church. We are missionaries walking in faith in a new environment, choosing to set aside the cultural norms of religion to reach people with the gospel: that the God of the universe has provided a way for people to know Him and talk with Him through His Son, Jesus.<br />
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Many leave the church because the sin in the church is too much for them. How can you love something tainted by sin? "There are so many hypocritical christians." "I was burned by this church or that church." "I was burned by these christians or those christians." Sin in the church is real. Sin in me is real. Sin in all people everywhere is real. It's a painful reality - the very reality that draws us to the foot of the cross. It's a reality the church needs to start from because it is the very place that leads us to cry out for Jesus' forgiveness. We cannot ignore the fact that there is sin in the church, Jesus certainly didn't, but we can follow Jesus' example and give our lives for that same church. We can choose to see people who are tainted by sin as people who are worth loving and giving our lives up for; it is the example set by our Savior and if we are a people who are remade to be little "christs" (christians), our lives will take on the same theme as His life. Besides, like Paul, we know our hearts and can likely cry out with him that we are the chief of sinners. We know that it is only His grace and strength that enable us to be anything other than a slave to sin.<br />
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As a christian, the church isn't something we flee. It is something we labor alongside Christ to build.<br />
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So what is the church? It's the collection of God's people everywhere. The Church isn't an institution. It's a family. It's a people-group. So, perhaps many have rejected the institution of christianity called the church, and I can hardly blame them. Religion has never been the means to knowing God and never will be. Jesus is the means to knowing God and He alone is able to bring dead hearts to life. Jesus is the one who ignited the first church (in the book of Acts) and He alone is able to keep our fires burning.<br />
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We build this church upon the rock of Christ and we labor over it like a child we've given birth to. Paul uses this terminology throughout his epistles because when God gives you a heart for the church, you cannot abandon it anymore than a mother could abandon her child. You labor over it in prayer and in love because the very heart of God labors over his church in love and sacrifice. In fact, the bible says that Jesus intercedes for us (Romans 8:34). Isn't that an amazing thought? Jesus is laboring over us in His own intercession even now!<br />
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The church is the body that Christ fills. Picture it in your mind with me now: a human body filled with God's Spirit; then expand your imagination - the person of Christ filled with all of us. It boggles my mind, but in John 14:20 Jesus says, "In that day you will know that I am in my Father, and you in me, and I in you."<span class="p"> Wow! Jesus in us and us in Him and all in God - made possible by the work of Christ on the cross and the filling of the Holy Spirit. </span><br />
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This is a glimpse of abiding in Christ. Him in us and us in Him and all of us in God. It boggles my mind and yet, at moments, makes perfect sense. It's above my understanding and yet God makes it a reality that I can understand and experience! This, my dear sweet friends, is the Church. Us in Him and Him in us and all brought together in love of Jesus. <br />
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How can we abandon the church when the Church lives in us and us in it?<br />
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We may be a small church gathering right now, but we are the church. Church isn't something we do, it is who we are - a people filled by the Spirit of God. And as His people, we devote not just a gathering to Him, but our very lives. We devote time day and night to pray and worship, to laugh and encourage, to challenge and rebuke (especially our children, but often our own hearts also), to teach and train in the Truth, to build up and strengthen. Our lives are characterized by the work of the church and it's size does not determine its function. The number of people gathered does not determine the strength and value of the work that God is doing among us.<br />
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"For where two or three are gathered, there I am in there midst." (Matthew 18:20)<br />
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We may only be two or three gathered, but He is here in our midst.<br />
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Perhaps what matters most is not how many gather or where they gather, but that we are a people gathered together filled with Christ and centering our days and lives around His person, purpose, and praise - giving Him glory for all that He has done for us and in us & surrendering ourselves to His work in us and in the world around us. <br />
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To Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus through all generations forever and ever.<br />
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Photo by <a href="http://www.detheos.us/">Jeff Patterson</a> of our Church family in Oregon City: Renew Church</div>
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We miss you all!</div>
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<i><b>{To join along on our church-building adventure, you can</b></i> <i><b><a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/AndyElisha" target="_blank">subscribe</a> to receive posts}</b></i><br />
<br />Elishahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05818194091574470888noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-648620690518315772.post-11997432103394083852017-05-24T11:13:00.000-07:002017-05-24T18:53:29.770-07:00Faith and other ramblings...All of my couch cushions, save one, have been peed on at least once in the last twenty-four hours. They are now soaked in rubbing alcohol in a desperate attempt to prevent any urine smells. As you can see, potty training is going well.<br />
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We had tacos for dinner last night. <br />
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I spilled tea on myself twice just this morning, and on my remaining dry couch cushion.<br />
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Those are some random facts of our life in Indiana. Engaging, I'm sure. <br />
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In actuality, people have been curious about the differences between Indiana and Oregon and here is what I've noted so far.<br />
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1. Indianians (okay, that's awkward, which is probably why they refer to themselves as Hoosiers) don't know how to drive. If you thought Californians were bad, this is worse. Much worse.<br />
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2. Red lights and speed limit signs are apparently only a suggestion here.<br />
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3. People are ridiculously and genuinely friendly. I'm thoroughly enjoying the social aspect and getting to know people. And it's genuine. It seems as though community is highly valued and inclusive of newcomers. Oregon is much more individualistic, but community is still a real and thriving thing here.<br />
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4. Apparently the weather isn't always this nice, but it has been a perfect 70-ish degrees since the first week we arrived and I feel like I might be dying of happiness.<br />
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5. People sit on their front porches and get to know their neighbors. Since you can't see my face, it is an expression of happy awe and pure shock.<br />
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6. Birds don't just cheep here, they actually serenade you. It's hard to describe, but the birds just sing differently and it's so soothing and magical. <br />
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In spite of all this, I'm beginning to miss "home" and my people. It's been wonderful getting to know new people, exploring, and enjoying all that Indiana has to offer, but there isn't a replacement for the people who are already in your heart. We're transitioning out of feeling like we're on vacation in a new place, to really settling in, and I'm finding myself waking up missing my family and my people. I'm grateful for facetime and phone calls and getting to share our hearts with one another even from a distance.<br />
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God has been teaching me so much recently. I wrote a list in my journal, but the one that seems to keep coming up is faith. Our house in Oregon hasn't sold yet and I have been really struggling with frustration and impatience with this issue. But on Sunday, as Andy led our little family in "church," we looked at a passage in Hebrews where Paul commends Abraham's faith. He talks about how Abraham followed God initially because of faith, but he had to continue living by faith even in the land that was promised to him. It really struck a chord in my heart because I realized that we made this journey in faith and yet we must continue in that same faith even as we live in the place that God has called us to. <br />
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I spent some time on Sunday afternoon, asking God what that looks like, and I realized in so many ways that faith and surrender must always go together. That it is our faith that allows us to surrender because we believe that God is who He says He is and does what He says He will do. We cannot have surrender without faith. So I surrendered what I thought ministry should look like here. I surrendered our financial situation to God. I surrendered my hopes and dreams to him. Everything and anything that I was worried or struggling with was laid at His feet in surrender. And then peace came flooding in and the ability to pray, "Your will be done," was genuine and brought so much comfort to my heart because I knew I could and can trust Him to do what is best for His kingdom and our lives. <br />
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I don't want to control God's work in my life. If he would have us poor for His kingdom, then I will be content in that. If He would have us live in a beautiful home, then I will be content in that. If my ministry is homeschooling and loving my husband, then I will be content in that. If my ministry is teaching and preaching, then I will be content in that. Whether I or my children are healthy, I will trust Him. In all things, I long to say, by surrender through faith, that I'm content in whatever circumstances that God leads and calls me into. <br />
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It is by faith, through grace, that we are saved. If our salvation started in this way, it must also continue in this way. Trusting and surrendering to Him all that we are and all that we desire in confident expectation knowing that He is faithful to us in all circumstances and that ultimately His will for us is good, even if it is also, at times, hard.<br />
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Faith is the evidence of things hoped for - and do we not hope for Him? I've been baffled by this verse at times (Hebrews 11:1), wondering if faith is being confident that God will do what I want, but I've come to the conclusion that faith is being confident that I belong to Jesus and that He is mine also. That desiring Him, hoping for Him, is where you find faith. <br />
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It's amazing that when we take our eyes off of what we hope for, what we plan for ourselves, and place them squarely on the person of Jesus and His love and power and goodness, that we find the tangible substance of our faith. He is the evidence of our faith because He is who we place our hope in. He is the author and perfecter of our faith because He is also the object of our faith. <br />
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And yet we continue to pray for our home to sell because know His great love for us and His concern for His people. We've been asking Him to sell our home, but our hearts add a "Your will be done because we trust You in this," knowing that He will work all things for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purposes. <br />
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Our faith is more precious to Him than solid gold (1 Peter 1:7), so we pray most that He would refine our faith. Surely, we desire far greater riches than what will come from the sale of our home. We seek after heavenly riches which are only given by grace through faith. Like Abraham, we wander through the world as strangers because we are waiting for a "better place, a heavenly homeland" (Hebrews 11:16). And so, like Abraham, we also seek to live this life in faith trusting His promises because "God has far better things in mind for us..." at the end of this journey (Hebrews 11:40).<br />
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All that said, we would still love for our home to sell. Would you be willing to pray that it would sell and that God would strengthen our faith in the meantime? Please pray that we would trust in Him and put our hope in Him, regardless of our circumstances or desires? <br />
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Praise Him for the peace He has given us in the meantime, and for wisdom as we move forward in our life here. Please pray for the people we've met here that they would come to know Jesus personally or that they would grow in their faith also. We are getting to know our neighbors who are all such wonderful people and we would love those relationships to deepen and the gospel to permeate them in every way. <br />
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May we all grow in faith together, knowing that our Father is good and that He loves us. <br />
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<i><b>{To join along on this crazy faith growing adventure, you can</b></i> <i><b><a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/AndyElisha" target="_blank">subscribe</a> to receive posts}</b></i>Elishahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05818194091574470888noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-648620690518315772.post-30133599345603320862017-05-14T11:03:00.000-07:002017-06-19T11:45:25.538-07:00Learning to Dance: An Ode to a Friend on DiscipleshipI remember the day I heard her name. I wandered into a Bible Study and was handed a beautifully made bible study book with a woman's feet sunk deep in ocean waves. I hadn't been to a women's bible study before. Ever. This workbook was handed around the room and I held it in my hands and thummed through it and there her name was, written in the corner. The woman who had put this whole thing together.<br />
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I passed over her name quickly and dove into my first women's bible study and the beauty of scripture. Walking in Freedom, I think it was called, and my heart craved the nuggets of truth it helped us uncover as we dove into the scriptures together. My soul began unfolding like a flower as her words drew us to scripture and the truth that we are free from performance and from needing to be good enough. There was grace and we couldn't be perfected by our own efforts.<br />
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Then, months later, an invitation came through facebook to a young women's retreat from this lovely woman. We had met, I had seen her face around church, but I remember this retreat so vividly. We walked into her family's home in the country and her bright smile made me feel welcome and loved immediately. She hugged me and laughed and welcomed me, and though I didn't know many women, I immediately felt drawn to her. She was beautiful inside and out. She taught that weekend, opening the scriptures and sharing her heart and all that God had taught her. I drank in her words and God's words through her. One small phrase, possibly said off-handedly, changed my life.<br />
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"If you read the scriptures for five minutes a day, you'll finish the bible in a year." What? I realized I didn't know whether I had ever read through all of scripture. Most of it certainly, but all of it? I didn't know. "You can do almost anything for five minutes a day." How many other things did I waste five minutes a day on? Too many. And this was important. I made a commitment that day that began to change my life - to read through scripture daily.<br />
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The retreat ended and life went on. She continued to follow Jesus and I continued to watch from afar, picking up bits and pieces here and there. She wrote a blog that I began to follow - the only blog I've ever followed - and her words daily felt like they were written just for me. As if the Spirit had authored those words in her specifically for me. Sometimes, it felt as if she had read my thoughts and my struggles and was laying them bare with her words and then offering me the solution I didn't have the wisdom yet to find myself.<br />
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I was asked, one day, who were people I trusted to give me council on my life, and I realized, though I had little relationship with this woman, that she was on my "board of directors," as they called it. She didn't know it, but Jesus in her life was changing my life.<br />
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Then an announcement on Sunday at church, this woman and her husband were going to plant a church. Our church sent them with love and support and I felt a sudden need to somehow support them. We didn't know what that meant, but Andy and I both knew immediately that we either needed to give to the church or go with them to start it.<br />
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It ended up being a bit of both. We joined their church plant and stayed at our other church (which was a bit complicated, but God worked it out in the end!) and this woman and I began to develop a friendship.<br />
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We did bible studies together and our children played together. We announced the pregnancy of our second child and they rejoiced with us. We prayed and walked with them as they had a woman who lived on the streets come and live with them. We became closer friends and began meeting regularly to pray and share our hearts with a couple other women from our church. We led bible studies together and I shared hard things from my past with her that brought freedom to my life. We learned about healing and deliverance together. We learned about prayer together. We grew in the knowledge of Christ and His love for us together. Their church became our home and they became our family.<br />
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And through the years we've spent together, I've watched and learned. You see, after all these years watching this woman and learning from her, I've realized something about discipleship.<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Following Jesus isn't something you can learn.</span><br />
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Before you throw me under the bus for that statement, please keep reading. Following Jesus isn't something you can learn, it's something you can do.<br />
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Please hear my heart - having good theology is essential, but all the head knowledge in the world won't mean anything if it doesn't translate to what we do.<br />
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A verse in the bible says, "Do not merely listen to the word and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says."<br />
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I grew up in the church, watching people who just listened to the word and who were themselves deceived. You can listen to the word and know the truth, but it means absolutely nothing if you don't live it out in your life.<br />
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I watched this woman live her life for the past 6 or 7 years DOING what the word said. It captivated me in a way that nothing else in this world has. For so long, I had only seen people who knew what the word said, but I hadn't met someone who so radically DID what it said. I started following her because she was actually and literally following Jesus.<br />
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Paul says, "Imitate me as I imitate Christ." In so many ways, we need less learning in the American church and more people imitating Christ. But it is a hard jump from normal daily life to imitating the God of the universe, which is why I think He gives us other Christians who are following Him to imitate. I "learned" more about following Jesus from watching her follow Jesus than I have from anything I've ever read anywhere.<br />
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I saw her suffer for His sake, and give radically and joyfully for His sake. I got to see her faithfulness in showing up when it was hard or didn't have any immediate rewards. I watched her faithfully obey His quiet directions to her to buy or not buy certain things, to eat or not eat certain things, to do or not do certain things, to pray, to fast, to give, to serve, to love, to share, to teach, to train, to hug, to speak truth in challenging situations, to surrender, to honor, to build up. Her life was a constant picture to me of how to listen to God's Spirit and apply His word and to live for Him.<br />
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It changed me in ways I don't even have words to describe - far beyond probably what she has any idea.<br />
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But it wasn't my dear friend who changed me - it was Christ. Her yielded submission to Him became the model I began to imitate and as I learned His rhythms, I began to find a new place of freedom in Him. Where I started imitating her, I ended up imitating Him. Where she inspired me, He took reign.<br />
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Slowly, like learning the patterns of a complicated dance, I began to grow confident in the steps. I had leaned on her in the beginning to show me how the steps went from theory to practice, but I was developing my own strength and beginning to dance out the steps with God Himself.<br />
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You see, I think this is how God intended discipleship. So often we think head knowledge is enough to equip someone .to follow Jesus, and maybe for some with the partnership of the Holy Spirit, it is. But more often than not, it seems to me, that God chooses to use people surrendered to Him to teach the steps through their own life to those who are just learning the ways.<br />
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You can grow up in church all your life and know the Bible, you can even preach the Bible, but until you learn the steps, until you learn to do what the Word says, you aren't dancing. You aren't following Jesus until you start moving. It's so easy to deceive yourself, that you are living according to the word - we're not bad people after all - and that's a sobering thought. But when we see with our own eyes someone dancing to the rhythm with God - someone living in complete surrender to His will - we can see clearly that we aren't dancing like that. When you see how beautiful it is to dance with Him, it creates a longing in our hearts to join in and to learn the steps.<br />
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This is discipleship, and it is beautiful. May we all join the dance.<br />
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{To my dear friend, <a href="http://www.karipatterson.com/">Kari</a>, on Mother's Day: </div>
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words are not enough to say thank you for leading with your life} </div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">Photo by <a href="http://www.laceymeyersphotography.com/">Lacey Meyers Photography</a></span><br />
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[Update: This dear friend recently released her book, <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Sacred-Mundane-Find-Freedom-Purpose/dp/0825444470/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1497897810&sr=8-1&keywords=sacred+mundane">Sacred Mundane</a>,<br />
and I highly recommend everyone order a copy.<br />
It is a book worth reading from a life worth imitating.<br />
I pray it impacts you as much as it did me.]</div>
<br />Elishahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05818194091574470888noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-648620690518315772.post-85805075217785235952017-05-11T08:37:00.000-07:002017-05-11T08:37:39.065-07:00A Jesus-Centered ChurchIt was a year ago that I sat on my couch one evening in prayer and suddenly, my mind came alive with inspiration and started whirling with a crazy idea. I grabbed my journal and began wildly scribbling thoughts as they poured into my head. It was called Novo, and it was a church, but really it was the Church.<br />
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You see, since I first started diving into the scriptures as a young adult, I began to see something of a discrepancy. Every time I read the book of Acts, I was confronted with the reality that my churches didn't look like the Church described in this book. It shook me up as a young person and even made me question whether I wanted anything to do with going to church in our modern-world. I wrestled with questions about whether a pastor was a biblical thing and why our churches felt more like performances than Christ-centered people building each other up and taking the gospel out. Over the years, God began to show me that He loved His church - it is His betrothed after all - and that if I am of Him, I must also love His church and His people. So we got involved in a wonderful church and joined a church plant several years later and I have embraced His people with a passion and a heart to see them know Christ and make Him known.<br />
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And then one day, quiet on my couch, head bowed in prayer, this radical idea of a church that looked like the first church in Acts idea could be a real possibility. I know this isn't new. In fact, the more I dive into this idea, the more I keep seeing it being lived out around me. Home-groups and Life-groups and House-churches and Missional Communities. So many names and diverse cultures, but the heart is the same.We've been involved in many of these and my in-laws have even started a house-church movement of their own.<br />
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And I'm coming to realize, that this idea that God planted in my heart has been planted in the hearts of so many who love him across this expansive nation of ours. I'm beginning to see churches leave programs and christian culture for a more radical Christ-following life-on-life style of ministry. I'm excited to join what God is leading in the hearts of so many of my brothers and sisters. I know what we are doing isn't going to be unique to us, but rather is just a small extension of what the Spirit is doing in the lives of many believers and churches across our nation and throughout the world.<br />
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I don't know that we'll be different from so many of these beautiful churches and home-groups, but here is what we will be:<br />
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We will break bread in our homes and eat together with glad and sincere heart. Acts 2:46<br />
We will be a people who pray. 2nd Chronicles 7:14/1 Thess 5:17-18<br />
We will have no one who is called by a title of Pastor/Teacher/Father/Master. Matthew 23:8-10<br />
We will be led by a group of godly men, called Elders who share in teaching, nurturing, shepherding, and discipling the spiritual lives of those who become part of our church family.<br />
We will be Word-centered and, therefore, Christ-centered. John 1:1<br />
We will be led by the Spirit. Romans 8:14<br />
We will be a family of missionary servants, modeling our lives after Jesus' life and living in relationship with Him, His people, and inviting the world into the joy of knowing and following Him. <br />
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This is a starting list of our foundations and I'm sure we will be much more than these things and we may struggle in many of these areas, but this is a starting point for our little home-church.<br />
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As I prayed a year ago, I had this beautiful picture in my mind of a church that met in homes, and businesses like coffee shops and restaurants, and was led by God's Spirit and gave space for people to grow in their spiritual gifts and be discipled in the truth. It was warm and inviting and relational and people who didn't know Jesus felt at home with us and intrigued by the love among us and the Spirit of God at work in us. It was a place where people experienced spiritual, mental, emotional, and physical healing. It was a place where people met Jesus, maybe for the first time, and constructs of religion fell away to give a place for relationship with God our Father. It was a family - growing and changing and making room for more - but it was God's family being created among us and God, our Father, instructing us, loving us, and changing us. It was centered on Jesus, and full of Jesus, and brought Jesus glory and honor on earth and made his name known.<br />
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A verse in the old testament says that the people perish for lack of vision. It may take us a lifetime to see something that looks like the above. It may cost us everything to see it happen - it certainly cost Jesus everything. But it is something worth living and even dying for. Without this vision - the vision that Jesus cast for His church - the people perish. I long to see churches revived, people revived, christians revived, the world revived by Jesus' vision for His church and I long to see His Kingdom come, His will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. So we pray for that and we live for that and we let Him lead and accomplish the work in us and through us and in the church and through the church.<br />
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Will you pray with us? Pray for our little church, pray for the big Church, pray for His kingdom to come, His will to be done on earth as it is in Heaven? Will you ask Him what role He would have you play in accomplishing these goals and what vision He has for your life and what purpose He has in mind for you in this grand vision of His?<br />
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He who started this work is faithful to complete it until the day of Christ Jesus. Let it be.<br />
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<i><b>{To join along on this crazy church-planting adventure, you can</b></i> <i><b><a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/AndyElisha" target="_blank">subscribe</a> to receive posts}</b></i>Elishahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05818194091574470888noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-648620690518315772.post-61744253309641754082017-05-10T10:36:00.002-07:002017-05-10T11:07:05.930-07:007 Joys to ShareThe last few weeks have been a whirlwind of activity and I feel like I'm just getting settled into a rhythm of life again. Thank you to everyone who has been praying for us and this journey we are on. I can feel your prayers and I see the fruit of them! Since many of you are joining us on this journey through your prayers, I wanted to share some praises!<br />
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1. The plane trip was far better than expected. Our gate happened to be right next to the only playground in the airport (I didn't know they even had one!), so the kids were able to get all their wiggles out before flying. Samuel fell asleep in my mother-in-law's arms on the first plane and spent the second flight treating me as his personal jungle gym, but there was very little fussing and no crying, so I'm calling that a miracle!<br />
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2. We were SOOO blessed by the homeschool community we're joining here in Fort Wayne. We told them we were coming and they offered hands, and help, and meals, and we felt so embraced and overwhelmed by their generosity and kindness. The first two days we had families from the community bring us dinner and donuts and dessert and helped move our furniture into the house and so much more. I was near to tears with gratitude and I'm still reeling by what a blessing they've been to us! Also, these donuts are called "Amish Crack" for a reason. :)<br />
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3. We live down their street to an amazing homeschool family who has a little girl who is 6 years old. Her and Isabel made an instant heart connection and everyday Isabel asks, "Can we play with Lucy today?" The fact that Isabel has one person she's excited to see and play with warms my heart and gives me a joy I can't describe. The view from our yard:<br />
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4. Our rental home has been absolutely lovely. I love the layout and the space and the neighbors. We've been spending the last couple days lounging in the front and backyards eating watermelon, catching bugs, picking flowers, and getting to know our neighbors. AND the family we are renting from is fabulous and I've had so much fun getting to know them. I think we may be kindred spirits. :)<br />
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Our fabulous rental home:<br />
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5. The library!!! Oh seriously, this is probably my favorite part of Fort Wayne so far. Their library system is seriously fantastic and THERE. IS. NO. BOOK. LIMIT. Oh my goodness. I feel like I fell into homeschool heaven. Plus you can check out homeschool curriculum at the library and they have a whole section of their library devoted to homeschool curriculum and support. Seriously, I was not expecting this and I can't explain the level of giddiness I feel at thinking of all the homeschooling resources available to us here! Logic of English, here we come. Eeee! <br />
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6. The zoo is mind-blowingly awesome! I wasn't expecting it to rival Oregon's zoo, and while they do have less animals, I would dare say that I enjoy their zoo better. There are so many animals you can interact with (ie. petting sting rays and feeding giraffes!) and the zoo is much more interactive and engaging.<br />
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7. Church Planting has been a surprising blessing also. At this point, it has been only our immediate family worshiping and learning together, but I was praying about what God wants this whole thing to look like and He reminded me of the verse that talks about how if an elder can't manage his home, how can he care for the church? The Lord showed me how this time is like taking a magnifying glass to the church within our home and building a strong foundation with the bare minimum, so that as God adds to our church family, we are fully equipped to lead, disciple, and care for the people God brings to us. As the Church, we are a family of missionary servants and it is no surprise that God is strengthening our immediate family in gospel rhythms before others are brought into our home and life and family to join along. I am eager though to have fellowship and times of prayer with adult believers though, so please pray God brings people who would be willing to be a part of our little church family and/or who would be willing to meet weekly to have prayer and worship together.<br />
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Andy leading us in worship Sunday morning:<br />
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Thank you to all who have been praying for us! Everything has been so smooth and I feel so at peace being here. There are so many unknowns at this point, but we are taking it one day at a time and just embracing the moments, the place, and the people right in front of us each day and asking God for opportunities to speak and share His love with others.<br />
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Two quick adorable photos to leave you with of our little two splashing in rain puddles in our alley behind the house: <br />
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<i><b>{To follow along on our adventures in Indiana, you can</b></i> <i><b><a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/AndyElisha" target="_blank">subscribe</a> to receive posts}</b></i><br />
<br />Elishahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05818194091574470888noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-648620690518315772.post-28822937981207267262017-04-13T22:45:00.000-07:002017-04-13T22:57:47.730-07:00The Road to Indiana<style>
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Really, this is probably not the best time to start writing.
Our life is in major upheaval. Everything is changing. I think the changes are
what make me want to write – to process my thoughts and feelings and help
explain this crazy adventure a little to those watching, and even to myself.</div>
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As we move away from everyone we know and love, I feel
strongly that I need to record this journey and invite the ones we’re leaving
to follow along with us as we embark into unknown territory. </div>
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I can’t promise it will be well written, or even very
interesting, but it is my life and I want to invite you into it and the random
wanderings of my heart and mind as much as possible. </div>
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I may not write very often. I may write everyday. I don’t
know what to expect from myself as writing and blogging has been something I’ve
been very inconsistent with. But I know that God is teaching me a lot and is
moving in ways I want to remember. I want to build an altar of sorts, rock by
rock, as a testimony of what He is doing in my life so I can look back and
remember each piece He provided and each way He stepped in and did what only He
can do. </div>
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The story began long ago, of God teaching me and inviting me
into a life-changing friendship with Him, but our recent journey began in
December. I’ve always wanted to go abroad and share the love of Jesus with
people in other countries – to be a missionary – and give my life in crazy
radical ways for the gospel. And this last December, I again came to my husband
and shared my longing to go and be a missionary. This desire has been so deeply
rooted in my heart since I first gave my life to the Lord, that I don’t know where
I begin and it ends. It is as much a part of me as my own breath and for so
long, God has said, “Stay. Be here. Love here. Grow here.” And I have. I’ve
grown and changed and fallen in love with God in new ways everyday. I’ve been
truly content and full of joy right where I am, living for Jesus where He has
called me to be, but still, like an ache in my chest, I’ve longed for missions
like a steady pulsing pain. A constant ache and reminder that I can’t ignore.</div>
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In December, we went away for our anniversary, and on the
three hour drive, I poured out my heart to my husband for the thousandth time
of my longing to go and do missions and this new sense that God is preparing us
for something altogether different. I asked him, “Please pray with me. I will
stay in Oregon with peace and joy if this is where God has called us to be, but
will you please commit to praying with me and asking Him where He wants us to
be. And will you really pray earnestly about it?” This was not the first
conversation where I’ve begged Andy to move to Africa or India with me, and it
may not yet be the last, but Andy committed himself to praying and to seeking
God’s will for our life. </div>
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Fast forward a month, Andy had a hard day at work and came
home and shared about some of the struggles. The conversation spurred on talks
about the future and ideas and dreams of what could be. The following day, he
shared some of his dreams with a friend of his who lives in Fort Wayne,
Indiana, and they began dreaming together. Andy’s work eventually evened out,
but something in Andy’s heart began to want a life in Indiana and the
possibilities that were available to us there. He began to talk seriously about
us moving there. We dream a lot together about this idea or that idea, so we
dreamed a bit, but I didn’t truly expect it to result in anything. </div>
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In the end of January, I went on a prayer retreat and we had
a time of listening prayer. During that time waiting on the Lord and listening
for anything He wanted to say to me, I heard very clearly that He wanted us to
move to Fort Wayne, Indiana and that it would be a season where all I had to
depend on was God and that I was to press into the suffering and into Christ,
choosing the path Jesus walked for the sake of the world. I truly don’t know
what that means or will look like, but it certainly didn’t make me excited!</div>
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I went home and shared what I heard with Andy, and we
continued talking. His mindset was still very practical – finances and career
options were his primary focus at the time. We talked and shared our thoughts
with some close friends and family and received very mixed reactions. Some
reactions made us reconsider the idea entirely – maybe this was a horrible
idea. But still, there felt like an invisible hand was guiding us down this
path. We read an amazing book together called “Money, Possessions, and
Eternity” by Randy Alcorn that really motivated us to think about our finances
even more in the light of Kingdom values and the importance of being completely
debt free. We began to talk about ways we could be debt-free in Oregon as we
have a home loan, school loans, and a car loan. Through these months, we
decided that stay or leave, we needed to live debt-free with no loans or
mortgages of any kind and that we were willing to make drastic life changes to
accomplish those purposes. </div>
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We wrestled back and forth, should we go or should we stay?
What about other locations? Are we only supposed to be in Fort Wayne or could
another cheaper location be an option to us as well? Maybe something closer to
our families and home? No matter where we looked or how cheap another place
was, we kept feeling ourselves drawn back to Fort Wayne. We felt no peace about
any other place and the more we researched Fort Wayne, the more we felt drawn
to a particular 10 block radius. It felt crazy, but we both felt sure it was
Fort Wayne or nothing.</div>
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But we still were wrestling with the whole topic and we were
struggling with leaving our amazing communities and families behind. During
that season, the Lord reminded me of how He has called nearly every major
biblical person of faith to leave their families and their homes to follow Him
and of the call in the gospels from Jesus to do just that. Abraham, Moses,
Joseph (although unwilling at first), Isaac, Jesus, Ruth, and so many more. The
list was startling as I realized that this walk of faith in following Jesus
sometimes (often!) calls you away from everyone you know and love and leads you
to a place of total dependence on the Father. </div>
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We decided, we didn’t want to leave our families and our
friends for anything other than a call from God to do so. We decided to wait
and pray until my trip to Africa. We asked friends to pray with us and we felt
that we would know more clearly after Africa somehow. So we waited. And prayed.
And then Africa.</div>
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I fell in love with Africa. Uganda was everything I had ever
dreamed of and more. It was like a I fell into a romance with a people and a
place and everything about it was intoxicating and full of wonder. The people,
the sights, the smells, the weather, the traffic, the food, and this siren
possibility of all the ways that God wanted to do a renewing and restoring work
there wooed me into a place where one night when I awoke at 1am (jet lag!), I
laid in my bunk and begged God, with tears and sobs, to let me stay forever. I
felt like my heart was aching and yearning in a way that I have never felt
before – and breaking too. It hurt so much to want something so bad. And as I
lay there, sobbing and begging, He broke my heart and told me “no.” He told me
Uganda wasn’t for me, but was for my children. That my love for Uganda was for
them. He reminded me of David wanting to build a temple for God and how God
said that David couldn’t, but his son Solomon would. David spent the rest of
his life storing treasures up for Solomon to use in building the temple, but
David would never get to see it completed. My love for Uganda was the treasures
I was storing up in my children’s hearts so they could one day complete what
God would not allow me to do.</div>
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But in that heartbreak, He told me again that He was calling
us to Fort Wayne, Indiana. He said many other things – things about a church
plant and His vision for our lives there. And I knew, this was my future now. I
felt a grief the rest of the trip, but also peace that comes from full
surrender, and an ability to embrace my time in Uganda, however short it may
be. </div>
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During my time in Uganda, Andy committed to meeting with
someone each night to pray for us and for our future. During one such night, a
friend and him sat and prayed together and asked God for specific direction. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Andy had a vision of our future that was a
tailor-made for Andy version of what I had heard from God myself. So while I
was in Africa, 8,931 miles away, we confirmed that we would follow God’s
leading and move to Fort Wayne. We had no idea how or what Andy would do for a
job, but we knew we were called and needed to go.</div>
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Andy had previously talked with his boss about moving to
Indiana, telecommuting and the like, and his boss had said that wouldn’t be
possible with the type of job that Andy had. Through a number of events at
Andy’s work, they suddenly needed someone to start a warehouse in the Midwest
or somewhere equally as inexpensive. In faith, before we had talked and after
he had had his vision, Andy went to his boss and suggested that we would be
open to running the warehouse in Indiana. That evening, Andy and I skyped
across continents and shared our experiences and made our decision. Andy
emailed me the next day and this is what he said:</div>
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“<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Yesterday I expected to have a big long
talk with [my boss] about IN, but as soon as I went into his office, we started
talking about warehouse plans and everything. About an hour into it, I stopped
and said I'd like to talk about the whole "me running it in Indiana"
thing, and he responded (in other words) saying basically "What's there to
talk about? That's what we're doing" so I guess it was a done deal! Glad
you said yes, otherwise this could get real awkward.”</span></div>
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And things have been tumbling forward from there. There has
been miraculous provision for our living situation that has made people who
don’t even know us say, “I think this is God!” In fact, the house we’ll be
renting at first is inside the 10 block radius we felt called to, is exactly
the amount we first discussed for a rental, and is in the backyard of the
Classical Conversations community we’ll be a part of. Plus it is walking
distance to a park, has neighbors with kids our children’s ages, and is a block
away from the home of our Classical Conversations director. And we’re renting
from an incredible le family of believers who have been amazing to work with
and who, I think, we could become good friends with! </div>
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In all of this, we’ve had people offer crazy generous things
to support us in going. James, a friend who constantly embodies the willingness
to serve with love and generosity, is driving over with Andy and the U-haul. My
mother-in-law felt God put it on her heart to fly over with the kids and I and
to help wrangle them on the plane. Another dear friend generously offered to
pay a large part of our moving costs. And there is so much more that would take
an entire another post to put into words. </div>
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In all this, we are just standing in awe of all that God is
doing and how He is providing. There have been hard aspects of this journey,
particularly in leaving everyone we know and love, and the challenges that come
with that. We would love prayer going forward, especially as what God has
called us to (more on that later!) is something we feel completely inadequate
for. I have no experience and no model that I’ve seen to work from. We are
literally walking through the dark waiting for him to light the path directly
in front of our feet. And He is faithful to do that and so much more. He says He
will do abundantly more than we could ask or think and so we walk, not by
sight, but by faith, trusting Him to fulfill all His promises and to lead us
“in paths of righteousness for His name’s sake.” </div>
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All praise and glory be to Him forever and ever!</div>
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<i><b><a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/AndyElisha" target="_blank">{Subscribe</a> to follow along on our new adventure}</b></i></div>
Elishahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05818194091574470888noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-648620690518315772.post-84770682001610137592016-08-24T13:11:00.000-07:002016-08-24T13:21:10.192-07:00Homeschooling: The Journey ContinuesThe most challenging aspect of beginning the homeschool journey for me has been determining what <i>our </i>homeschool looks like. I love reading articles about the paths other moms have chosen. <a href="http://simplehomeschool.net/tag/day-in-the-life/" target="_blank">Simple Homeschool</a> has some great stories where different moms share a "day in the life" and what their nitty gritty looks like. It's good to know they are normal people doing normal things and that pinterest-perfect isn't their normal either. <br />
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But, their day-in-the-life still doesn't answer the question, "What does my day-in-the-life look like?"<br />
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I've read and wrestled, and read and wrestled some more. At some point, a person can read too much and have too much to wrestle with. The mass volume of information and ideas available muddled my mind so fully that the structure of our homeschool began to look like a game of pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey with me trying blindly to pin the right homeschool method on my family's unique build.<br />
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To describe the start of our journey, I jumped into a <a href="https://www.classicalconversations.com/" target="_blank">Classical Conversations</a> community at the outset. We joined a community, purchased all of the curriculum, and I was hopeful that we would thrive and, as advertised on their website, I would single-handedly cultivate a love of learning in my child. They would read blissfully in fields of flowers by the age of 5 and the sun would beam down on our perfect happy homeschool family. Okay, maybe I didn't expect all that, but I look back and realize I was hoping the Classical Christian method would be our perfect fit.<br />
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We joined the community and we struggled immensely all year. Each week, we went to a very LONG four hours of repetitive repeat-after-me sessions, where we both felt ignorant and ill-prepared. After a number of weeks of feeling like the dumb kid (and the dumb mom), I spent the week pushing Isabel (then only four years old!) too hard so that when she came to class she wouldn't feel inferior (and neither would I) and while she learned the content and began to improve in class, she began to hate doing "school," as did I. Most of the time when we thought about doing "school" at home or at CC, we both internally cringed. We limped through the rest of the year and by the last 6 weeks, we had emotionally and physically checked out almost completely. I was emotionally exhausted from trying to keep up and I realized I had caused damage in my attempts to do so in my child's "love of learning." The very thing I was trying to cultivate was the thing I trampled underfoot as I looked too intently at the "garden" I wanted to grow in the distance and not hard enough at the "garden" I was planting.<br />
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Recently, I've been reading through the amazing book, <a href="http://andyandelisha.blogspot.com/2016/08/elisha-reads-homeschooling-take-deep.html" target="_blank"><i>Homeschooling, Take a Deep Breath - You Can Do This</i></a>, and this paragraph describes my feelings about last year homeschooling Isabel.<br />
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"I began my homeschooling career by teaching only the oldest of my three children. I was new, so I was managing to make every mistake commonly made by homeschoolers, but I also faced the challenge of spending so much uninterrupted time with a child whose personality was as strong as mine. She and I clashed as I struggled to be the perfect teacher and to force her to be the perfect student. When I was teaching one child, I put all my self-esteem, my goals, my pride into this child's education. It was, I thought, her job to prove I could do what most people thought I couldn't do. Instead of starting out slowly and gradually getting used to what we were doing, I charged into full education mode ... This was far too much pressure for one child, and it's a wonder we get along so well today."<br />
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Over the summer, I struggled with whether to even try homeschooling again. I was exhausted and I felt like I had irrevocably ruined my child for life. I'm confident Isabel will be just fine, but at the end of the year, I felt like I had failed her and myself unforgivably. <i>Maybe I'm not cut out for this, </i>my mind swirled. <i>Or maybe it was just a hard year with a newborn? Other homeschool parents have newborns and they don't seem to be ruining their kids' homeschool experience. </i>I had, in fact, just read a blog by a mom who had homeschooled her children while also caring for newborn twins. What excuse did I have then to not be successful?<br />
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I read articles and blogs and they all said to go with the flow and not to stress. <i>Easy for them to say</i>, my brain retorted, <i>their kids haven't been scarred by a mom who pushed her child too hard. Their kids don't fall apart every time they start doing "school." </i><br />
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I almost gave up on it all, but I kept feeling like God was gently nudging me back to homeschooling. <i>Don't you see how poorly I did last year? </i>I asked Him.<i> </i>He gently reminded me that He often calls His people to do hard things, things that they can't do in their own strength. His words resonated in me as I thought of what Jesus walked through for me and the hard things God asked of Jonah, Joseph, Ezekiel, Jeremiah, Abraham, Moses, and countless others. Perhaps I did do poorly last year, but it seemed that God was calling me to do hard things <i><b>with </b></i>Him.<br />
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In so many ways, I look back at our last year and realize that I wanted to be successful in homeschooling for my sake and not for my children's sake. I wanted educated, kind, respectful children partially so I could say I successfully raised my children well. I needed to decide whether I was homeschooling so I could produce perfect children who brought credit to my name (not a great motivation, by the way), or whether I would homeschool for a deeper, more lasting reason. <br />
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God gave me the reason I was homeschooling as clear as day <a href="http://andyandelisha.blogspot.com/2016/08/homeschooling-journey-begins.html" target="_blank">here</a> - <i>paideia - </i>and it changed my heart about homeschooling.<br />
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Finally, I had my <b>purpose<i> </i></b>for homeschooling but was still asking the question, "What does homeschooling my children look like in light of the purpose God gave me?"<br />
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I may ask that question every day (maybe year if I'm lucky) for the rest of my homeschool life, but I came up with some solid framework for what our homeschool <strike>will</strike> may look like this year.<br />
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<i><b>More on the nitty gritty of our homeschool plan for 2016 next....</b></i><br />
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<i><b>{What does your nitty gritty look like? How did you decide on your method for homeschool? <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/AndyElisha" target="_blank">Subscribe</a> to read new posts.}</b><b> </b></i><br />
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<br />Elishahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05818194091574470888noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-648620690518315772.post-70768865400404816872016-08-07T13:00:00.000-07:002016-08-07T13:00:09.169-07:00Elisha Reads: Homeschooling, Take a Deep Breath - You Can Do This!I'm learning so much as I've embarked on this <a href="http://andyandelisha.blogspot.com/2016/08/homeschooling-journey-begins.html" target="_blank">homeschool journey.</a> I'm sure many of you are seasoned homeschoolers and much of what I am discovering now, you have fine tuned or you've already discarded. Each new day, it seems I discover what <i>works</i> for our family and what is a complete bust. It feels a little like trying on shoes - some squeeze, some pinch, some are snug, some are so comfortable you never want to take them off, and some fit just right for all the things you need to do in a day.<br />
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Last week, we sauntered down to our local library (and if you aren't aware, sauntering with three little children looks more like hustling ornery cattle through an obstacle course) wherein I proceeded to herd Samuel (my little one year old) around the library. As I bent to snatch him up before he could scale the book shelves, my eye landed on a book. It almost reverberated with that fictional magical aura and before I knew what my hands were doing, it had landed in my arms with my squirming child. A happy throb seemed to emanate from the book as it snuggled its way into our overloaded bag of library loot.<br />
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When the kids settled in for naps and the house was miraculously quiet, the book almost jumped at me, so I didn't resist the impulse and I caught it and began to peruse the chapters. Each sentence seemed to flash before my eyes as if the author was looking straight into my fears and my challenges and my children and addressing every question before my mind had finished asking it.<br />
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More than any other resource on this homeschooling journey, this book has done wonders for my heart and mind. Even its name sounds like it was meant for me.<i> </i><br />
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<i><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Homeschooling-Take-Deep-Breath-You-This/dp/0972807152/ref=sr_1_sc_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1470431906&sr=1-1-spell&keywords=homsechooling%2C+take+a+deep+breath" target="_blank">Homeschooling, Take a Deep Breath, You Can Do This</a></i> by Terrie Lynn Bittner<br />
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I won't spoil all the goodness of it, but if you are starting out homeschooling, this is a must-read. She breaks down the homeschool process well for minds that are bent towards creativity rather than list-making and organization. While at the same time, she supplies some very do-able recommendations for getting organized and making lists. It gives me hope that I will find my perfect balance between freedom and structure in my own homeschool life. And on top of this, it has spurred my imagination and activated my creative juices!<br />
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I hope you get a chance to read it!<br />
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Most of the books I read are recommendations from others - they don't normally jump off library bookshelves like this one did - so please take a moment and share your favs in the comment section!<br />
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{<i>With everything that is available to read, thanks for reading this!}</i><br />
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<br />Elishahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05818194091574470888noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-648620690518315772.post-90398514275753807812016-08-05T11:07:00.000-07:002016-08-10T22:03:48.657-07:00Homeschooling: The Journey BeginsHomeschooling and I have resembled a science experiment I did as a kid. I would pour water and oil into the same cup and swirl it around, but no matter how much I swirled and shook, no matter how many oil bubbles were created, the elements never blended into a homogeneous solution; they each remained distinct.<br />
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I've been swirling around in a jar with homeschooling and we've been bubbling against each other. Last year was a mix of frustration and self-doubt, mingled with enthusiasm and disappointment. Nothing, literally NOTHING, went as I had planned or imagined. My children did not wake up with enthusiastic smiles begging to begin school (yes, I had dreamed of my children loving school so much that I simply fed their eager imaginations and hunger for learning). Samuel did not sleep or play quietly while the older children and I read fantastic stories about fairies, world history, and science. I did not manage to drag my sleep deprived body out of bed before my children so I could greet the day with peace and joy overflowing from my time with Jesus.<br />
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My water of life was not mixing with my oil of homeschooling. By the end of the year, we were just really broken down into lots of little pieces and I was left staring at the fullness of my sin (impatience, lack of love, pride, and the list keeps going).<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This is what homeschooling sometimes looks like in our house. Samuel climbing on everyone!</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr>
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As we entered into summer, the Lord and I entered a season of His revealing how much work He has still to do in my life. I feel like he pulled back the curtain of my heart and gently shined His light into so many places where I need to grow. My heart was humbled and repentance entered in. His gentle instruction has led me over the past few months and He has hemmed me in, behind and before, with His tender love.<br />
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Amidst this season of repentance and rebuilding (although isn't all of life full of both?), the Lord continued to encourage me to homeschool. There was no head-bashing. No forceful pushing. Just His firm gentle insistence that He would do this with me and that I could trust His leading in my life. I wanted to homeschool, I truly did, but I wrestled with whether I <i>could </i>homeschool. I have ADD, a part of me that is both wonderful and frustrating, and I wondered whether I could tame my mind's constant pushing and pullings to properly educate my children.<br />
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And so, somewhere in my heart, I committed to this journey. Really, I committed to my children, because I'm homeschooling for their sake and not my own, and I committed to the Lord. Chaos may abound and attitudes may flounder, but the Lord and I are on this journey together. <br />
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<i>Paideia, </i>the latin word for nurture, stood out to me suddenly bold and bright as the Lord lit it on a page before me. <i> </i>In Ephesians 6:4, Paul writes, "Fathers, do no provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the <b>nurture</b> and admonition of the Lord." The word nurture here is <i>paideia </i>in the original greek. The Lord impressed it into my mind like a seal upon wax, scribbled in the margins of my bible and circled in my own hand. <br />
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God has called me to <i>paideia</i> my children: to nurture, discipline, train, and instruct them in the way of the Lord. The public schools won't do this for me. God did not call my church to do it for me. He didn't ask a private school to do it for me. He commanded fathers (and I'll imply from the whole of scripture that this includes both sexes) to train their children in the way they should go, to talk about Him when they sit at home and when they walk along the road, when they lie down and when they get up (Deut 6:7). To be clear, I don't think God calls everyone to homeschool, but a number of years ago I very clearly felt the Lord tell <b>me </b>to homeschool. And so, here I am, finally committing to this journey.<br />
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I'm not committing to "homeschooling" itself. I'm not pledging myself to the classical learning style. I'm not placing my flag on the hill of better education. I'm standing my ground on <i>paideia</i>. My children may not speak chinese, sign language, and write in perfect cursive by the time they are six. They may not learn to read faster than their peers. They may not have perfect attitudes and be the best behaved children on the playground. But I'm not homeschooling for these reasons. <br />
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I'm homeschooling because I want my children to see Jesus, day in and day out, in my weaknesses and in successes. I want to nurture them and instruct them. I want the gospel to saturate their life. I want prayer to be in their left hand and God's word in their right. I want faith to be as natural to them as breathing and salvation to cover them like a helmet. Because they are going to face some battles in this life, (we all do, don't we?) and I want them to be prepared in the "nurture and instruction of the Lord." I want their first response to be "Jesus!" and their last breath to be "Jesus!"<br />
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And since He has called me to this, I believe that He will equip me for it because He has prepared these "good works" in advance for me to do.<br />
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"Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen" (Hebrews 1:11). I am assured that my hope, which is Christ, will not disappoint. I am confident that every promise God has made is "Yes" and "Amen!" in Jesus. So I'm walking into this knowing God is with me and that He <span class="p">will guide me and instruct me. That He longs for my children to walk with Him and that He is faithful to finish the work He has started. That His Word will not return void. That He will extend His faithfulness to the thousandth generation of those that love Him. These are the promises I cling to and the impetus for this journey. </span><br />
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<span class="p">No matter whether homeschooling and I are remain water and oil, <i>paideia</i> and I resemble sugar water. Sugar dissolves when it is mixed and stirred in water and both are changed by the process. This journey may have mixing, stirring, and all kinds of agitation throughout the process. In the end though, something new and sweet emerges. Add a little lemon and you've got a refreshing drink. ;)</span><br />
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<span class="p">I will be chronicling my journey here to keep a record and history of the "science experiment" God is conducting in my life. Sometimes you'll see the agitation process. Sometimes you'll get a drink of our sweet concoction. My hope is that we'll look back and see a record the results of God's handiwork and His scientific method at work in our life. </span><br />
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<span class="p">Care to join us? </span><br />
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<span class="p">{<i>Thanks for reading.</i> <i><a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/AndyElisha" target="_blank">Subscribe</a> to read new posts.</i>} </span><br />
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Elishahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05818194091574470888noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-648620690518315772.post-43283503360861868652014-06-27T15:39:00.004-07:002014-06-27T15:39:50.585-07:00365 Days with God - Day 175: What are you praying for?<br />
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>I'm giving myself a challenge. Read the Bible each day for a whole year, following the ESV Study Guide 1-year plan. Each day, I will post whatever God has revealed to me in His Word, and how it is changing me. A friend of mine once said that nothing has changed her life as much as reading the bible each day - and I'm excited for how this will change me. Join me on an adventure into the heart of God - and day by day, we can learn more about who He is and what that means to us!</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><i><br /></i></span><span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>- Andy Catts</i></span></div>
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Readings: Proverbs 27, Proverbs 28, Deuteronomy 27, Micah 3, Matthew 6:1-18</div>
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Ask my wife and she'll tell you - I'm not much of a public prayer person. Or even semi-public prayer in front of other people. </div>
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I wish it was because I was doing my best to obey Matthew 6, where it says to pray in a closet so that you aren't using prayer to try and convince others of your holiness. But really, I just don't want to embarrass myself by saying something foolish in front of others. I'm worried that I won't have the right things to say. But Jesus says to pray this way: </div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red;"> </span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red;">And when you pray, do not heap up empty phrases as the Gentiles do, for they think that they will be heard for their many words. Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.</span> </i>(Matthew 6:7-8)</div>
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Pray for what you need. God's not impressed by our quantity or quality of words. He knows what we're going to ask for, and he knows if we need it, before we even ask. He wants us to be sincere. He wants us to be honest and forthcoming. He wants us to ask for things that we need from him - not just provisions, but the ability to live out a godly life. Because a little later, He tells us to pray that our sins would be forgiven - as we have forgiven others.</div>
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I don't know about you, but I need help to forgive. And I need to be forgiven. God wants to provide both of those things for me - and he wants me to ask for them. God, I am broken, I am in need of your love and forgiveness. Please help me so that I can show your love and forgiveness to others as well, just as you have shown it to me.</div>
Andy Cattshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13825810809701879008noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-648620690518315772.post-64549335675739563452014-06-27T15:27:00.001-07:002014-06-27T15:27:18.736-07:00365 Days with God - Day 174: Hope for a Fool<br />
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>I'm giving myself a challenge. Read the Bible each day for a whole year, following the ESV Study Guide 1-year plan. Each day, I will post whatever God has revealed to me in His Word, and how it is changing me. A friend of mine once said that nothing has changed her life as much as reading the bible each day - and I'm excited for how this will change me. Join me on an adventure into the heart of God - and day by day, we can learn more about who He is and what that means to us!</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><i><br /></i></span><span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>- Andy Catts</i></span></div>
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Day 174, June 26, 2014</div>
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Readings: Proverbs 25, Proverbs 26, Deuteronomy 26, Micah 1, Micah 2, Matthew 5:17-48</div>
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<i>Do you see a man who is wise in his own eyes?</i></div>
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<i>There is more hope for a fool than for him.</i> (Proverbs 26:12)</div>
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Am I trusting in myself, or am I trusting in God?</div>
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Because if I think I've got all the answers, if I'm sure that I have figured things out, that I provide for myself, that I do everything right...I'm hopeless. God has provided everything I need, and any knowledge that I have, He has given me. Who am I to say that I've done anything? How can I give myself credit, how can I count myself valuable, when I brought nothing into this world, and can take nothing out of it? How can I think myself important when I cannot control even my own life?</div>
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I pray that I am not wise in my own eyes. I pray that God is the one who provides for me and my perspectives. Because if I am providing everything for myself, what need do I have of God? If everything was my own, why would I need him? And if I am without God, I am nothing.</div>
Andy Cattshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13825810809701879008noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-648620690518315772.post-21329831564873574962014-06-27T15:17:00.003-07:002014-06-27T15:17:34.320-07:00365 Days with God - Day 173: Hide it under a bushel...NO!<br />
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>I'm giving myself a challenge. Read the Bible each day for a whole year, following the ESV Study Guide 1-year plan. Each day, I will post whatever God has revealed to me in His Word, and how it is changing me. A friend of mine once said that nothing has changed her life as much as reading the bible each day - and I'm excited for how this will change me. Join me on an adventure into the heart of God - and day by day, we can learn more about who He is and what that means to us!</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><i><br /></i></span><span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>- Andy Catts</i></span></div>
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Day 172, June 25, 2014</div>
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Readings: Proverbs 23, Proverbs 24, Deuteronomy 23:15-25, Deuteronomy 24, Deuteronomy 25:1-19, Amos 9, Matthew 5:1-16</div>
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I wish I had time to cover all of the beatitudes, but it'd take weeks. So I'm just going to pick one.</div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red;"><i>"You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.</i> </span>(Matthew 5:14-16)</div>
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A lamp under a basket does one of two things:</div>
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1) It is burning so hot that it lights the basket on fire, and thus burns brightly anyway</div>
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Which do you want your faith to be like? I'd rather the first one. I'd rather it be unable to be hidden. So bright, so prominent, so <i>on fire</i> that encountering it was unavoidable.</div>
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But where have we ended up as a nation? All too often we are trying to put our faith under a basket. Telling others to tone it down, to not share so much. Personally, I'm tired of hearing this stuff. Our fire is to burn brightly. Note that these verses don't say to ramrod our faith down other people's throats. It should be unmistakeable. Visible, no matter what.</div>
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So rather than trying to hide it, rather than continually making our faith personal only to ourselves, we should be making sure it's prominent. Constantly in front of those who look at us - so that Jesus would be known by our word <i>and</i> deed. That encountering the same saving grace and love that we experience would say all that needs to be said. Do you burn brightly?</div>
Andy Cattshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13825810809701879008noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-648620690518315772.post-76917039052454321912014-06-24T14:29:00.000-07:002014-06-24T14:29:29.439-07:00365 Days with God - Day 172: Elevating the Poor<div style="color: black; font-family: Times; font-size: medium; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>I'm
giving myself a challenge. Read the Bible each day for a whole year,
following the ESV Study Guide 1-year plan. Each day, I will post
whatever God has revealed to me in His Word, and how it is changing me. A
friend of mine once said that nothing has changed her life as much as
reading the bible each day - and I'm excited for how this will change
me. Join me on an adventure into the heart of God - and day by day, we
can learn more about who He is and what that means to us!</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><i><br /></i></span><span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>- Andy Catts</i></span></div>
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Day 171, June 23, 2014</div>
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Readings: Proverbs 21, Proverbs 22, Deuteronomy 23:1-14, Amos 7, Amos 8, Matthew 4:12-25<br />
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<i>Hear this, you who trample on the needy</i><br />
<i>and bring the poor of the land to an end,</i><br />
<i>saying, "When will the new moon be over, that we may sell grain?</i><br />
<i>And the Sabbath, that we may offer wheat for sale,</i><br />
<i>that we may make the ephah small and the shekel great</i><br />
<i>and deal deceitfully with false balances,</i><br />
<i>that we may buy the poor for silver</i><br />
<i>and the needy for a pair of sandals</i><br />
<i>and sell the chaff of the wheat?" </i>(Amos 8:4-6)<br />
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Do we love our fellow man? Do we care about them the way Jesus does? Are we eager to see their best realized? (Note, their best does not necessarily equal their most profitable...)<br />
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Time and time again, throughout the scriptures, it is evident that God cares about those in need. Every prophet testifying against Israel mentions their abandoning of the poor, their lack of concern for those in need, and their selfishness. But God is not talking about mere social justice here. The prophets cry out against the exploitation of the poor. And I think we see a lot of that today, thinly veiled in "good deeds."<br />
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I don't want this post to become terribly political. But I do want to encourage God's heart for humanity. And through the prophet Amos, he is challenging us to take stock of how we care for those in need. Do we treat them as second class citizens? Do we take advantage of them to further our own agenda? Are the "solutions" we put forth really for their best, or does it just sound good so that we get more votes?<br />
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I believe our nation is in a place where we must examine our principles, our purpose as we move forward. What are we motivated by? Where will this end up? Does it just <i>sound</i> good, or will it actually result in the needy being elevated, educated, and free? The challenge of being poor is not <i>lacking wealth</i>. The challenge of being poor is <i>lacking options</i>. Money, knowledge and connections give you options when you are in trouble. When we talk about helping the needy, we need to give them options. Give them freedom. Give them Jesus.<br />
<i> </i> Andy Cattshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13825810809701879008noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-648620690518315772.post-39220483570220430942014-06-24T14:15:00.001-07:002014-06-24T14:15:04.474-07:00365 Days with God - Day 171: The Crucible of Christ<div style="color: black; font-family: Times; font-size: medium; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>I'm
giving myself a challenge. Read the Bible each day for a whole year,
following the ESV Study Guide 1-year plan. Each day, I will post
whatever God has revealed to me in His Word, and how it is changing me. A
friend of mine once said that nothing has changed her life as much as
reading the bible each day - and I'm excited for how this will change
me. Join me on an adventure into the heart of God - and day by day, we
can learn more about who He is and what that means to us!</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><i><br /></i></span><span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>- Andy Catts</i></span></div>
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Day 171, June 23, 2014</div>
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Readings: Proverbs 19, Proverbs 20, Deuteronomy 22:13-20, Amos 6, Matthew 4:1-11<br />
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Even Jesus was not exempt from the testing of the heart. If you read yesterday's post, I spoke of Proverbs, in which we learned that God seeks to refine us through testing of our hearts. Bringing us closer to Him. Making us more like the image of God he created us to be.<br />
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And Jesus was not exempt from this.<br />
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Both at the beginning and end of his ministry, he faced severe tests of his heart, his character. But unlike me, he didn't respond with consternation, frustration with God, questioning God's goodness. Instead, he returned to the <b>Word</b> of God, relying on God's promises about <i>who He is</i>.<br />
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Jesus responded to Satan's temptations in three different ways, always coming back to who God is. Try this next time <i>you</i> are tempted. I'm going to try and do the same.<br />
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<i>"Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God."</i> (Matthew 4:4) - God is our provider and he sustains us in the midst of trials. We do not need to break His commandments to provide for ourselves - God will provide everything we need!<br />
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<i>"Again it is written, 'You shall not put the Lord your God to the test."</i> (Matthew 4:7) We are not greater than God! Who are we to question His goodness, His faithfulness? So often when I am struggling, I want to doubt God, I want to demand that He do things my way. But when I do that, I am asserting that I know better. That I have a smarter plan than the God of the universe. When I put it that way...I sound a little ridiculous.<br />
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<i>"You shall worship the Lord your God and him only shall you serve." </i>(Matthew 4:10) Nothing is greater than God. No prize we could earn, no possessions we could have, no prestige, no honor, is higher than God. But so often the test on me is whether or not I will choose Him. Whether or not I will give him the highest honor. He alone deserves the glory.Andy Cattshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13825810809701879008noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-648620690518315772.post-73867709944370334442014-06-24T13:43:00.003-07:002014-06-24T13:43:59.514-07:00365 Days with God - Day 170: A Test of Hearts<div style="color: black; font-family: Times; font-size: medium; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>I'm
giving myself a challenge. Read the Bible each day for a whole year,
following the ESV Study Guide 1-year plan. Each day, I will post
whatever God has revealed to me in His Word, and how it is changing me. A
friend of mine once said that nothing has changed her life as much as
reading the bible each day - and I'm excited for how this will change
me. Join me on an adventure into the heart of God - and day by day, we
can learn more about who He is and what that means to us!</i></span></div>
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Day 170, June 22, 2014</div>
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Readings: Proverbs 17, Proverbs 18, Deuteronomy 21:1-23, Deuteronomy 22:1-12, Amos 5, Matthew 3<br />
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Have you ever been angry at God for allowing you to struggle through something? Most of the time when I'm in this situation, I asking God <i>why</i>. Why allow me to suffer? What good is my suffering? How does this benefit (me)? And, usually, "God, if you're so powerful, couldn't you just take this away?"<br />
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<i>The crucible is for silver, and the furnace is for gold,</i><br />
<i>and the LORD tests hearts.</i> (Proverbs 17:3)<br />
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Note the analogy here. Crucibles and furnaces were used to heat silver and gold to extremely high temperatures, which would remove the <i>impurities</i> to make them pure, taking out all that was <i>not</i> gold or silver, so that it would be the way God made it. And this is an intense process.<br />
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When our hearts are tested, it is like a crucible or furnace. It's not meant to be low-key. It's not meant to be like skipping through a field of daisies. Because of sin, we have polluted ourselves with foreign material. God wants us to return to the person he made us to be. He wants us to be pure. We think of a test being like an exam - proving that we have the knowledge. But God isn't testing our knowledge. God is testing our hearts, our purity to him. Refining us to be more like him, for we were made in his image.<br />
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The next time I'm tested, I know it will be hard to remember this. It will be easy to shake my fist at God, to ask, "<i>Why me!?"</i> and question His goodness. But every test I go through, He is making me more like Him. He is refining me. I'm not sure how, but I'm going to do my best to thank God the next time this happens. Because it's what I need.Andy Cattshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13825810809701879008noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-648620690518315772.post-89406335455167946692014-06-23T16:51:00.004-07:002014-06-23T16:51:57.021-07:00365 Days with God - Day 169: Who is Your Work For?<div style="color: black; font-family: Times; font-size: medium; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>I'm
giving myself a challenge. Read the Bible each day for a whole year,
following the ESV Study Guide 1-year plan. Each day, I will post
whatever God has revealed to me in His Word, and how it is changing me. A
friend of mine once said that nothing has changed her life as much as
reading the bible each day - and I'm excited for how this will change
me. Join me on an adventure into the heart of God - and day by day, we
can learn more about who He is and what that means to us!</i></span></div>
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Day 169, June 21, 2014</div>
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Readings: Proverbs 15, Proverbs 16, Deuteronomy 20, Amos 4, Matthew 2:13-23<br />
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<i>Commit your work to the LORD,</i><br />
<i>and your plans will be established.</i> (Proverbs 16:3)<i> </i> <br />
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Is your work (not your employment) committed to the LORD? Is everything that you set to task to His? Do you look at whatever work you have before you, and ask if it's serving God?<br />
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If it sounds like a challenging task, that's because it is.<br />
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But the second portion speaks of something I think we all long for - <i>established plans</i>. Would we not take so much more joy in our work if we could guarantee success? If the doing of the work would always produce results? If we knew our time was not wasted, if we could see the rewards and experience the joy?<br />
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When our work is committed to the LORD, we are guaranteed success.<br />
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But committed to the LORD doesn't just mean saying, "I'm doing this for God." Nor does it mean to just do whatever it is you do <i>well</i>. No, it means to ensure that the work we set our hands to, the things we spend our time on, need to be <i>committed</i> to God. Because you can be3 sure that He wants you to work with Him. That He has things for you to commit to.<br />
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Because we have a finite amount of time. We can't do something without turning down another. And it's so easy to turn down <i>God</i> things for things we want for ourselves. God promises that if we offer all of our time to him, placing every commitment in His hands, evaluating if what we do each day can be focused on Him, He will provide.<br />
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Practically, this might look like turning down something fun to do something...less fun. Or, it might mean letting your lawn get long, and your weeds tall, so you can serve others. It might mean evaluating your hobbies...because if all of them involve isolating yourself from others, it's awfully hard to show and share the gospel with someone.<br />
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I challenge you to put the things you do before the Almighty God - give Him a chance to show you His plan, His schedule, His passion for your life - and see what comes. I think you might be surprised.Andy Cattshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13825810809701879008noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-648620690518315772.post-41588201940305961422014-06-20T11:45:00.001-07:002014-06-20T11:45:15.060-07:00365 Days with God - Day 168: Entitlement<div style="color: black; font-family: Times; font-size: medium; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>I'm
giving myself a challenge. Read the Bible each day for a whole year,
following the ESV Study Guide 1-year plan. Each day, I will post
whatever God has revealed to me in His Word, and how it is changing me. A
friend of mine once said that nothing has changed her life as much as
reading the bible each day - and I'm excited for how this will change
me. Join me on an adventure into the heart of God - and day by day, we
can learn more about who He is and what that means to us!</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><i><br /></i></span><span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>- Andy Catts</i></span></div>
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Day 168, June 20, 2014</div>
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Readings: Proverbs 13, Proverbs 14, Deuteronomy 19, Amos 3, Matthew 1:18-25, Matthew 2:1-12<br />
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What do I want from God?<br />
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If I'm honest, most of the time I would just like things to go my way. I would like my family to be perfect, my job to be exactly what I want it to be, my finances to be in order, my life to be comfortable.<br />
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What's the problem with this picture?<br />
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God's not mentioned. Not at all. I want everything to be the way I want it to be. I want God to answer me, but only in ways I dictate. Often, I'm not willing to let Him be God. I want to take that role, and use His infinite power to fulfill my dreams. I'd settle for him just agreeing with me most of the time.<br />
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But is that what God asks of us? Is that a right that we have? That we deserve? If we are as powerless as we seem, ,what could we possibly thing would enable us to demand <i>anything</i> from the God of the universe?<br />
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<i>The soul of the sluggard craves and gets nothing,</i><br />
<i>while the soul of the diligent is richly supplied.</i> (Proverbs 13:4)<br />
<i> </i><br />
All too often, I have the soul of the sluggard. I crave and I want, I beg and I steal, I relax and I dream...but I crave things for me. I crave <i>my</i> kingdom come. Where everything goes my way, and my word rules. And I am disappointed when God doesn't bring this about.<br />
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But my problems are twofold. One, I want the wrong things. I want my dreams, my profit and wealth. God wants me focused on His kingdom, instead of my own. Two, I am often without the <i>soul of the diligent</i>. If I was driven, focused and submitted to God, He would richly supply me. Not with the things I want for <i>my</i> kingdom, but with the things he wants to see His kingdom come.<br />
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His dreams are bigger, better and certainly less self-focused than my own. Will I crave my kingdom or His? Will I be diligent for Him?Andy Cattshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13825810809701879008noreply@blogger.com0