Tuesday Thoughts is where I pick a topic that’s on my mind, set a timer, start with “Go”, write about it for five minutes, and end with “Done”. Editing is non-existent and I am grateful for that since I can spend hours fine-tuning and agonizing over a post. Even writing this paragraph, I've written and rewritten it about five times, sent it to my hubby to edit, rewritten it, and am still debating whether it's acceptable.
In this exercise, I am enjoying the freedom to just write, without stressing about perfection or what others might think. This is my lovelimess after all.
...
(Going running for the first time after Melody was born.)
Go.
My feet pound against the ground. Shudders climb my legs as I propel one foot in front of the next. Run. Run. Run.
Breath pounds in my lungs, an aching clawing pain, but my feet keep moving and my brain prods my body to push itself just a little farther. A couple feet longer.
My legs slow and I walk, breathing steadier, but feeling the ache of the run in my legs, in my knees, in my heart. Training is hard. It sucks your breath away, makes your heart beat, strips you of weakness and leaves strength in its place. It makes me want to vomit, it makes my body burn, and it hurts.
I'm enough for you. He whispers it in the wind on the road. And I know it's true. He's been enough through each push and pull, each need from little hands or mouths. He's been enough for the brokenness in the world around me. And, always, again, He is enough for me.
So I keep running. Putting one foot in front of the other.
I know what waits at the end of the race and so I keep pressing on. Pushing my body past it’s limits into the realm of His strength. And I feel my lungs fill with breath that is not my own and my body propelled by His power. The running, it hurts and it burns, but it is sweet too.
Done.
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