Wednesday, September 30, 2009

The 8th World Wonder - The Public Library

Have I mentioned that I love the library?

For those of you who are ignorant, as I once was, let me enlighten you to the beauties of the public library.

First off, it is a room, or series of room-like structures, filled with books. BOOKS people - pretty much the most amazing, awesome, awe-inspiring, incredible, stupendous, and perfect inanimate objects to ever grace the earth. And it is a building filled with them.

Secondly, every book in the room can be taken home with you - for FREE. I'm starting to believe that impossibly wonderful things are actually possible. While there are unfortunate drawbacks (you have to return the books), you can actually extend your enjoyment almost indefinitely by renewing and rechecking out books that you love. If however, you're lazy normal and you don't want to waste time renewing the same book over and over again - no problem. You can just keep it and they'll just charge you for the cost of the book. Seriously - you get to try the product out before you decide if you want to keep it! How many places let you do that? Not satisfied - no worries. Just bring the book back within your allotted 2-3 weeks and you won't be charged a penny.

Thirdly, if they don't have the book(s) you want, they will go out and scavenge for them and bring these shining beautiful books back to the nearest and most convenient library to you, where you can check them out, once again ladies and gentlemen, for free. :D

Finally, not only are books, movies, magazines, and other random media free for your perusing, but they have free passes to local educational entertainment such as :

1. The Portland Art Museum
2. The Children's Museum
3. The Japanese Gardens
4. OMSI
5. etc

I'm not kidding. You can get FREE passes to any of the above and more by doing nothing more complicated than calling your local library and reserving them for the day you want to go. I may sound like an advertisement for the library, but guys, it sells itself. Can I dare believe some place so amazing actually exists? Yes, I can - because it does.

In short, I heart the public library. If the government is going to take my money and put it toward something, I'm not going to complain if it goes to the library. That, my friends, is actually a worthwhile investment of my money (and yours!).

Finding peace, and trying to understand the world

Just what is it about complacency that makes my life more difficult? One would tend to think that when things are going your way, when they are as you expect, that life would be so much better. After all, there's nothing unexpected or untoward to complain about - things are just peachy! And while my life definitely isn't perfect at this point, it is certainly great - I have a fabulous wife, house and a decent job that pays the bills.

Why is it, then that I find myself wondering more and more about my disposition and my perspective on life? I'm reading through the Psalms right now, and I can't help but feel like we would be so much closer to God if we just had more struggles in our life, if things weren't quite so easy. Then we wouldn't think that we had it all together, we'd realize that God is in control of everything, and that He is directing each and every step we take.

Hard times make us rely on God. Hard times make us look at every event, big and small, and attribute it to God's greater plan - for what else could it be? As humans, we have nothing else to explain it (unless you go with random chance.) Disaster in my life? God's going to use it for good - that's who He is, and that's what He does! But when everything is going well, we trudge along and minor inconveniences (such as lousy drivers on the freeway) annoy us to no end.

I think my faith will be much stronger the day I can say I am as devoted, attentive and reliant on God when things are going well as when they are going poorly.

Sunday, September 20, 2009

The pursuit of Wisdom

January 22nd -

"I now understand why I've fallen for SO many stupid guys:

1) no good guys exist."

While pretending to unpack the office today, I found my journals. It was an amusing afternoon reading through my thoughts as a 13 year old girl to present day. Somewhere between then and now, I wrote the above jaded statement about men. Fortunately, for my heart and mankind's reputation, Andy appeared in my life (and my journal some pages later). At which point, I found this scribbled happily at the beginning of multitudes of pages gushing with sappy lovey-dovey stuff:

"So I met my husband-to-be and unless God tells me I'm crazy - wow."

Wow. All I can say is that I'm thankful that God truly does mold us, change us, and help us to grow as individuals. I can't begin to describe how idiotic I was when I was younger. I'm just glad that God doesn't leave us how we are. Although the process can be painful and frustrating, I'm thankful I'm no longer who I was. I now know that I can/will be glad of any pain that I will have to endure in the years to come if it will make me a wiser and more loving woman of God.

James 1:5
"But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him."

I think this verse is a double edged sword. I've seen the things that have caused the most growth in my life and I realize that when God gives you wisdom, it comes through humbling experiences.

James 3:13
"Who is wise and understanding among you? Let him show it by his good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom."

Proverbs 11:2
"When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom."

While reading through my journals I was torn between a desire to burn the evidence of my stupidity and grabbing labeling materials and marking them all as "Evidence of God's Grace and Loving Kindness."

It's funny because I'm confident that in 5 years, 10 years, 20 years, 50 years, I'll look back and see God's grace in my life all over again and recognize that God has given me more wisdom than I had before and that through the difficult things in my life, He'll have answered the one prayer that is consistent throughout every page of my journal - "Change my heart, Oh God. Make me more like You. Fill me with wisdom and understanding. Lead me in paths of righteousness."

Truly this hymn is the banner that covers my life:

How deep the Father's love for us,
How vast beyond all measure
That He should give His only Son
To make a wretch His treasure

How great the pain of searing loss,
The Father turns His face away
As wounds which mar the Chosen One,
Bring many sons to glory

Behold the Man upon a cross,
My sin upon His shoulders
Ashamed I hear my mocking voice,
Call out among the scoffers

It was my sin that held Him there
Until it was accomplished
His dying breath has brought me life
I know that it is finished

I will not boast in anything
No gifts, no power, no wisdom
But I will boast in Jesus Christ
His death and resurrection

Why should I gain from His reward?
I cannot give an answer
But this I know with all my heart
His wounds have paid my ransom

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Morning ponderings on Psalm 106 (NASB)

Each morning as I wolf down my cereal & toast, I like to have something to read. Given that somehow I run from the beginning of my day to the end, I have made it a point to read the Word during breakfast. It's almost guaranteed. Even though I'm rushed and hurried, God somehow always manages to impress something upon me in the short time that I get to share with Him. Sometimes it's something small, sometimes it's something bigger. I want to try and voice these out, and with my new commitment to blogging more (wait, that's not a new commitment...) I think I can safely share it here. Hopefully it resonates with you...or at least makes you think.

Psalm 106 is basically a rough history of the nation of Israel, all crammed into one chapter. Yowza. Hundreds of years, millions of people. You'd think it would take more than that, but no. And what is it summed up by in the sub-title? "Israel's Rebelliousness and the LORD'S Deliverances." Dang. That kinda sucks for Israel when you think about it. Years and years of history, and what are they remembered for? Rebelliousness. Gotta work on that Israel.

However, the real meat of it is right there in the same sentence. First portion: Israel (People in general) screw up. A lot. Second Portion: God is always there to fix it. Not just once - He doesn't just toss us after the first screwup. That's Deliverances ladies and gentlemen - plural. And the same applies to us.

The majority of Psalm 106 plays like a broken record: Israel forgets God, Israel becomes oppressed, God saves Israel. And what struck me about this is that we're the same way. It's easy to look at the Old Testament and dismiss it as boring, old stories. I know I did that for a long time. The New Testament was much more interesting - it had Jesus, and Paul and all kinds of good stuff. But the OT? Wasn't that just rules, regulations and some stuff in Song of Solomon that you weren't really supposed to read (or understand) until you were married?

After having much of the OT summed up for me in Psalm 106, I came to a conclusion. The OT isn't boring (it is old.) What God is providing for us through the OT is twofold: a warning and a promise. The warning is to not repeat history - God gave everything He had to the Israelites, and they just didn't get it. The promise is of salvation through Jesus' death and resurrection on the cross. We already have the promise - in our hands, tangible and living.

So far, I haven't even quoted any scripture, but now we're there. Because while we often dismiss much of the OT as "old" - it still applies to everyday life, and Psalm 106 especially. So let's get into it:

Psalm 106: 19-25

19 They made a calf in Horeb
And worshiped a molten image.
20 Thus they exchanged their glory
For the image of an ox that eats grass.
21 They forgot God their Savior,
Who had done great things in Egypt,
22 Wonders in the land of Ham
And awesome things by the Red Sea.
23 Therefore He said that He would destroy them,
Had not Moses His chosen one stood in the breach before Him,
To turn away His wrath from destroying them.
24 Then they despised the pleasant land;
They did not believe in His word,
25 But grumbled in their tents;
They did not listen to the voice of the LORD.

Here we see one snapshot - Israel has just gotten out of Egypt - God saved them from intense slavery and the murder of their male children. Kind of a big deal, no? And what do they do? They made a gold cow. Yeah. A cow. That eats grass, farts methane to destroy the ozone layer, and provides tasty steaks. They "forgot God their Savior." How often do we do that? How often do we forget the awesome saving power of our Lord, and throw it all away for the things of this world? Maybe it's not a cow - but it's probably other worldly things. Idols aren't just statues made of gold - it's anything that holds a place in our hearts before God.

This comes into play later in Psalm 106, specifically verses 35-39:

35 But they mingled with the nations
And learned their practices,
36 And served their idols,
Which became a snare to them.
37 They even sacrificed their sons and their daughters to the demons,
38 And shed innocent blood,
The blood of their sons and their daughters,
Whom they sacrificed to the idols of Canaan;
And the land was polluted with the blood.
39 Thus they became unclean in their practices,
And played the harlot in their deeds.

Are we doing this? Are we becoming more worldly in our actions? I know I'm guilty. I know I allow myself to say, do, hear and see things that I shouldn't. Every time, it's a compromise, letting myself be snared by the world. I pray that I will change my ways - to stay clean. Even though I know God forgives me every time I screw up.

What happens next? God promises His wrath (something I never want to face, but thanks to Jesus, never have to) upon Israel. Moses intervenes, begging for forgiveness. God relents, and is still planning on giving them the land of Canaan, a land "flowing with milk and honey." Sounds nice, doesn't it? I don't think I'd complain. However, what is Israel's response? They rejected the land, didn't believe in God, and didn't listen. What a thank-you, Hallmark should take notes.

Again, how does this apply to us? How often do we trust in our own understanding, and push God aside? How often do we look at small things in our life and dismiss all the blessings that God has bestowed upon us? I know I allow it to happen more than I should. This fallen world, Satan and his demons, want us to be dragged down until we can't see the light and hope that is God above. I challenge you readers (and myself) to stand above this, rejoicing in the salvation that God has provided for us - along with the tons of good things that He has provided.

Sounds like we've got a pretty difficult road ahead of us. But if there is one thing to take from Psalm 106, it's the promise of God's greatest gift in Jesus. For the psalm ends with:

43 Many times He would deliver them;
They, however, were rebellious in their counsel,
And so sank down in their iniquity.
44 Nevertheless He looked upon their distress
When He heard their cry;
45 And He remembered His covenant for their sake,
And relented according to the greatness of His lovingkindness.
46 He also made them objects of compassion
In the presence of all their captors.
47 Save us, O LORD our God,
And gather us from among the nations,
To give thanks to Your holy name
And glory in Your praise.

God delivers us from our iniquity. God looks upon our distresses, when we cry out - and God remembers his promise. We are forgiven, we are redeemed, we are saved. And at the end of the day, we should echo the psalmist in verse 48:

48 Blessed be the LORD, the God of Israel,
From everlasting even to everlasting.
And let all the people say, "Amen."
Praise the LORD!

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Things I enjoy (also known as things that keep me sane)

Apparently my wife has started to blog a lot more, given the recent spasm of posts. While life isn't a competition, I am definitely feeling the need to step it up and begin providing our small reader base a reason to read the blog more. I think it might also help me to mull over my own thoughts in written form - something I've never been very good at. There have been times in my life where I kept a journal of sorts, and my propensity to write in it always seemed to dry up quickly.

Rather than learn from my mistakes and recognize that writing/blogging my thoughts just isn't for me, I'm going to keep banging my head against the wall and try to convince myself that this can and will become a regular thing. I may even rely on you, the loyal fanbase, to pester me with questions such as "why haven't you blogged lately?" and "I really wish the internet was full of details about Andy and Elisha's life so I didn't have to ask them personally." (I realize the last statement was not a question.)

So, um, here's another blog post. Not forced, for real. This time anyway.

Some things I have enjoyed lately:

1.) Seeing my lovely wife after 4 days of being gone.

2.) Backpacking the Jefferson Wilderness (post soon to come with pictures)

3.) Not Always Right (Hilarious website

4.) Finding new, interesting and great ways to look at passages of scripture that you've read a dozen times. I think this will always happen - God's Word being alive is certainly true. (Exodus was the scripture, by the way.)

Some things I have not enjoyed lately:

1.) Growing older to the point that I wake up in the middle of the night to use the 'loo. WTF bladder?! 4AM is not a good time for this. Wait another freakin' 2 hours and 45 minutes so I can get more uninterrupted sleep. I'm not even 25 yet. I really, really really don't want this to get worse, but I know it's going to. Old people, don't chime in about my future doom and how bad it will be. I realize it is imminent.


2.) Knowing that I need to eat less/eat healthier/exercise more. Curse my efficient body. So good at retaining, so bad at releasing. Oh, and screw you everything-that-tastes-good-but-is-fattening.

3.) Knowing that I'll probably suck at blogging more, but trying anyway.

Time

"Who has never killed an hour? Not casually or without thought, but carefully: a premeditated murder of minutes. The violence comes from a combination of giving up, not caring, and a resignation that getting past it is all you can hope to accomplish. So you kill the hour. You do not work, you do not read, you do not daydream. If you sleep it is not because you need to sleep. And when at last it is over, there is no evidence: no weapon, no blood, and no body. The only clue might be the shadows beneath your eyes or a terribly thin line near the corner of your mouth indicating something has been suffered, that in the privacy of your life you have lost something and the loss is too empty to share."

Monday, September 14, 2009

Blonde!

Did I mention that I dyed my hair blonde?!