Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Sitting Thinking Wishing Dreaming

It seems these days that there has been much pondering swirling around in my head. Where is my life headed? What am I doing of value? What can I do that will have lasting meaning? What is God calling me to?

These thoughts, while jumbled together with my natural impulsiveness, have created wild urges to sell everything - our house, our cars, our furniture - and live in another country while doing something meaningful like running an orphanage.

I keep thinking about the world and the suffering in the world. I keep thinking about the children who are sold into the sex trade. I keep thinking about children whose parents would rather let them die than keep them. I keep thinking about what I can do.

What can I do? I feel so helpless. I feel so useless. I feel stuck.

I know that one individual can make a difference, but I can't bring myself to believe that it could be me. I know that sometimes it starts with taking one step, but I can't bring myself to believe that one step will get me anywhere.

And yet, "with man these things are impossible, but with God all things are possible." So what does that mean for my life?


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