Tuesday, May 25, 2010

In Order to Fatten My Friends

Yes, I think as being a self-proclaimed food lover and semi-rotund individual, I must equalize myself not through dieting or exercise, but by converting all of my friends to the dark (and tasty) side. Therefore I have whipped up some new culinary delights to wow your tastebuds and enlarge your waistlines. Beware, they're good. Like, cream of the crop good. You have been warned. (also note, these dishes were not intended to go together...they just happened in the same week.)

#1: Sweet Thai Yellow Curry

1 14~oz can coconut milk
1 14~oz can chicken broth
1 large onion
2 tsp red curry paste
1 tsp ground ginger
1 tbsp yellow curry powder
2 tbsp canola/vegetable oil
1 tbsp minced garlic
2 tbsp brown sugar
1 bunch green onions

1.5lbs (or more) of the meat of your choice - chicken, shrimp, fish works well
Salt & Red pepper flakes to taste
Serve over Jasmine rice or cous-cous

Step 1: Dice your green onions into rounds, and your large onion into strips (think fajitas.)
Step 2: Pour canola oil into a large skillet, heat and add the onion strips. Saute until lightly browned.
Step 3: Add curry paste, mix with onions and stir for about 30 seconds.
Step 4: Pour in chicken broth & coconut milk. Add all other spices and ingredients except the meat.
Step 5: Cook for 5 minutes on medium, stirring ingredients in and tasting curry for the proper flavor (this is where you add the "to taste" items.
Step 6: Add meat (cut into bite-size strips) and continue cooking until meat is fully cooked.
Step 7: Enjoy served over rice or cous-cous! (Cous-cous is particularly good with sauteed onions & carrots with some dried cranberries thrown in.)

#2 The Best Freakin' Cinnamon Rolls...ever. Cream-Cheese Infused, you heard right...
4 cups flour (plus extra for kneading!)
2 cups water (heat to 105-115* F, use a thermometer!)
1 tsp salt
1 tsp yeast
2 tbsp sugar
2 tsp cinnamon

1 8oz pkg. cream cheese
1 tsp vanilla extract
1 tsp cinnamon extract

1/4c sugar
1 tbsp cinnamon

Brown sugar
Whipping cream

Step 1: Heat the 2 cups water to 105-115* F. Add 1 tbsp sugar and the 1 tsp yeast, stir together AFTER HEATING.
Step 2: Mix dry dough ingredients together.
Step 3: Add liquid mix to dry mix, stir together, cover and set aside for 1-2 hours (until doubled in size.)
Step 4: Soften cream cheese in microwave and add vanilla & cinnamon extracts. stir together until a frosting-like consistency is achieved.
Step 5: After dough has risen, pour onto floured surface. Flour your hands and add some to the dough until it is no longer sticky to handle.
Step 6: Roll dough out with floured rolling pin - 1/4" thick and about 16"x12" is what you're looking for.
Step 7: Spread cream cheese mixture on the rolled out dough evenly.
Step 8: Fold dough back on itself - 3 times lengthwise like an envelope, then back to make a square.
Step 9: Roll dough back out until it is 16"12" and 1/4" thick or so. You may have to continue adding a little flour to prevent it from sticking.
Step 10: Mix the 1/4c sugar & 1tbsp cinnamon and spread on dough.
Step 11: Tightly roll dough (as tightly as you can) into a log.
Step 12: With a SHARP knife, cut into 1/2" rounds.
Step 13: Place rounds in a greased 9x13" pan
Step 14: Bake for 350* for 15 minutes and check. If browned on the top, prepare the topping. If not browned, return to oven until lightly browned on top.
Topping: Mix whipping cream & brown sugar (approximately 1part whipping cream to 2 parts brown sugar) to make a gooey syrup. Consistently should be roughly that of liquid soap.
Step 15: Pour topping over rolls and bake for another 5 minutes.

You don't know how delicious and fattening these suckers are. Reader beware...you'll be dreaming of these.


Lane said...

Elisha, you are NOT fat! Those recipes sound amazing though. (when do I get to try them?) - love ya!

Andy Catts said...

Actually Lane, I wrote that up, and made those recipes.