Wednesday, June 23, 2010

How To: Have Fun at Home with Your Spouse

Aren't you all so very excited to listen to my three long years of married wisdom?  See, my wisdom told me that you would be, which is why I'm going to enlighten you with a post chock-full of all the interesting things you always wanted to know. [BTW, the expression chock-full came from people saying choke-full which I think is an appropriate sentiment of my pompous statements].

Blah Blah Blah.

See aren't you impressed? I know so much about marriage it's unbelievable. Be inspired.

Okay, seriously though, I am excited about today's post since I think that it will be something that lots of couples can do and enjoy.

How To: Have Fun at Home with Your Spouse

So Andy and I have discovered that the economony sucks (You too? Really? Oh, I knooow. I can't believe it either). We've also discovered that it would suck a lot less if we had money to spend because everyone is trying to offer deals since the rest of the world isn't spending money either. Winning the lottery would help, but, unfortunately, winning the lottery isn't an option if you don't buy lottery tickets... I can't believe it either, but apparently you have to actually buy a lottery ticket to win. Ridiculous, I know.

So my lovely husband and I have been successfully (and sometimes unsuccessfully) trying to find ways to entertain ourselves at home in rainy (did I mention it was RAINY in June?) Oregon.  Here's some of the things we've come up with:

1. Cuddling and Talking - After a while of being married, I think we all tend to get into activity ruts. Conversations go something like this:

Elisha: "What do you want to do tonight?"

Andy: "I don't know. I don't really feel like making any decisions. Work was really long today."

Elisha: "Oh, I'm sorry. Well, why don't we watch [insert favorite girly movie here]?"

Andy: "Yah. That sounds great. I'll think I'll go blow people up instead on [insert favorite video game here]."

Okay, so this conversation varies and we often throw around ideas like playing a board game or baking dessert, but sometimes after a long day working and cooking and cleaning, the few hours that you have left in the evening just don't seem like enough time to do much of anything. It is too easy to fall back on movies, tv, and video games. So, in our exhausted states, we've been trying to do less TV and replace it with more relational activities - like cuddling. :D

I'll admit that my girly side loves cuddling and talking. Andy's manly side has a harder time just sitting and doing nothing, but once we get started on a good topic, we can talk for hours. It makes me feel like we're dating again when we're just sitting and shooting the breeze together.

So the first activity, which doesn't sound like an activity at all, is to sit and come up with interesting topics to talk about together. Be intentional and discuss things your know your spouse is interested in and likes talking about. However, beware of Elisha's conversation-starting mistakes:

Wife:  "Honey, let's sit and cuddle and talk."

Husband: "Okay, what do you want to talk about?"

Wife: "Umm.... my quilting class?"

Husband: "Interesting... Want to play my new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle video game with me instead?"

You might laugh, but this is an almost exact replica of a conversation that Andy and I had this week. In the end, we did play TMNT together and had a blast going back to the good ole days of arcade-style games. And then we cuddled in bed and talked about my quilting class. ;) So maybe it wasn't a mistake because we ended up having fun together, but it was probably a bad way to start a long romantic conversation.

2. Go For A Walk - Just do it. Even if it is raining. It can be a lot of fun to walk in the rain. Wear a raincoat, put on your galoshes, and just go for it. Maybe even jump in a puddle together.

3. Bake Something - Cooking is not my favorite thing. To be honest, I don't really like it. But I have a lot of fun with Andy while donning an apron, turning on some good dance music, and baking up a storm. This is not a good idea if you don't want your waist size to enlarge, but then again, cookies make good gifts, so give them away!

4. Invite Friends Over - Friends always make everything fun! Invite friends over for food or games or food and games. It is always a fantastic way to spend your evening laughing and talking with your favorite people (or new people!).

5. Start a Home Project (and finish it) - I know this sometimes sounds like more work, but doing projects together can be so much fun with the right attitude. Paint a bathroom, change the oil in your car together, or find some other hobby/project that you can both work on together. Even if it isn't something that inspires you and gets you excited, it is good to work with your spouse and do things together.  Some of Andy's and I best times have come when we're working on some project or doing something I don't enjoy.

In the same vein, sometimes just hanging out with your spouse while they work on some project of their own is fun. Andy sits and keeps me company while I'm quilting, so I guess it's only fair that I keep him company while he works on his motorcyle. This isn't quite as exciting as working together, but I love having Andy around when I'm quilting and I know he feels similarly about me being around when he works on his bike. Maybe grab a book and just read while he/she works on their project. Having Andy in the same room while I work on my projects makes me feel valued and happy - it says to me that he loves me enough to simply chill with me even if we're doing separate activities that he's not interested in.

Okay, that's all my brilliant (or not so brilliant) ideas. I'd love to hear what other people do at home to entertain themselves and bond with their spouse, so please comment with your ideas!


1 comment:

Lane said...

Great post Elisha. I love the ideas! (I think this will go into my save-for-when-I'm-in-a-relationship file)